Being Ashlyn

Chapter 32

Ashlyn spent her next few days completing her assignments from not only Mr Harrison but from her other classes too. Apparently four days requires a month's work. She barely had any time to relax-much to Levi's dismay.

"Why are always so busy?" Levi whined through the line.

Ashlyn cradled her cell phone in between her ear and shoulder while furiously typing away on her laptop. "I told you already. I need to do my homework that I missed out during my absence."

"How long would this last? I feel like I barely talk to you anymore." He said.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes and sighed agitatedly. Her fingers ached from typing a five hundred word essay and a complaining Levi just makes her blood boil even more. "I don't know! Can you stop whining? Just bare with it already! Do you think I like doing all this crap?"

The other line went silent. Ashlyn's fingers froze midair above her keyboard as she anticipated for Levi's response. "Levi?" She called out.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay, I'll stop bothering you."

Ashlyn took her cell phone by her hand and slumped against her chair. She knew she had said the wrong thing. "Levi, I-"

"I know you're probably tired. I understand." Levi's voice sounded flat. "See you tomorrow. Bye." He said before hanging up.

Ashlyn stared at her cell phone's blank screen. She scrolled down her contact list and stopped at Levi's number, deciding if she should call him back. Just as she was about to press the green button, her bedroom door burst open.

"Sweetie!" Her mum beamed.

"What?"

"Chocolate or vanilla icing?"

"For your wedding cake?" Ashlyn furrowed her eyebrows.

"No silly!" Laura giggled. "For your birthday cake! This would be the first time we're celebrating with Alan and Jamie! I was thinking maybe we could have a party and--"

"My birthday?" Ashlyn frowned. "You know I hate celebrating my birthday."

"Yeah, but it's been years sweetie." Laura approached Ashlyn and stroked her daughter's hair. "Don't tell me you've still not over that accident. How many times must I say that it's not your fault?"

Ashlyn bit her lips to stop it from trembling. "But it was because of me he was out there when it happened."

"Stop thinking like that, Ashlyn." Laura's voice cracked, her enthusiasm a while ago disappeared. "You have got to let go of the past."

"How is it so easy for you to forget everything about dad?" Ashlyn snapped and then took a deep breath in. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"But sweetie-"

"Mum, please. I don't have time for this. I still got tons of work that needs to be done by this week." She said, gesturing to her study table which was filled with cluttered papers. "If you want to buy a cake, then fine but please..." She sighed. "...no birthday parties."

"I understand." Laura nodded. "Just don't blame yourself okay?" She said, kissing Ashlyn on her forehead before leaving the room.

Ashlyn buried her face in her hands, fighting back the tears that were threatening to pour. Memories from ten years ago came rushing through her mind yet again.

~~ Her seven year old self was sitting on her mother's lap in the dining room, waiting for her dad to come back home. The dining table was filled with all kind of foods and a huge birthday cake as a centre piece.