Dusk (Bellarke fanfiction)

Chapter thirty two

Enjoy babes :)

Clarke's POV

Let's be honest. It took me a while before i convinced myself that i truly can not spent the rest of my life in here. So when i finnaly got out of the tent, i was surprised to not see almost anyone. A few people i didn't recogize were sitting around a burned out fire. As i kept walking, two of them raised up their heads and noded, as if saying hi. I didn't bother to do anything, and i continued in my track, pretending that i didn't saw them.

Where the hell is eveyon-? Before i got to finish my thought, i was interrupted by a loud scream.

"Clarke!! There you are!" Octavia shouted as she ran towards me. She pulled me to a quick hug and i was glad that i finally see someone normal.

"Hi, how have you been?" I asked her curiously. I didn't knew Ocatvia for a long time, but she seems to be a good person. She shouldn't even be here, she isn't a criminal.

"I've been great! Well, if you don't count Murphy still trying to get me to bed, but other than that, i'm great" She said, smiling brightly. I was really glad to hear that. At least one of us is happy. "And what about you? How was the trip?"

"Umm.. Yeah, the trip" i choked out, rubbing my head "It was fine, i mean, it was nothing special. Actually kind of boring" 

"Boring? Really? I thought you'll have fun with Bellamy"

My heart skipped when she mentioned his name.
"Ehm, why would you think that?" I asked slowly.

"I don't know, i guess that maybe i wanted to believe that he'll finally figure out what it means to be guy, not a whore." She said, looking slightly disappointed.

"And why would you think that i will help him with that?" I asked. This conversation was starting to lead in the one way i truly didn't wanted to. To him. Everything leads back to him.

"It just felt like you were meant for each other. I guess not..."

I guess not...

"Octavia!!" A deep voice shouted from behind us. I recognized that voice. No. Please no.

"Bellamy, over here" she shouted back, waving at him. I heard footsteps coming closer and i felt like i'm gonna faint.

Keep it calm, Clarke. You can do this. It was about to happen sooner so later, you have to face him eventually. Just act cool and casual and it'll be alright.

"Oh hello there, princess" he spoke from behind me. He had to be really close because i heard his breath. In that moment he stepped infront of me and i swear i took everything i had to not to break his nose.

Keep calm, act natural. "What's up, bro?" I said, throwing my hands up around me.

Seriously, Clarke? What's up, bro? That's all you've got?

Bellamy raised up his eyebrows and smiled as if i said something truly amusing.

Don't punch him. Don't punch him. Don't punch him.

"Well, i'll leave you two to it " Octavia said, and before i could protest, she ran away, leaving me with this awful person all alone.

He was quite for a while but then he spoke up "how are you?"

He just didn't asked me that.

"How-am-i?" I asked unbelivebly.

A scared expression crossed his face for a second and he choked out "yes? How are you?" Wow, i guess i really look like i could kill right now. Good.

"I'm fucking fine, how else would i be?" I shouted

"Are you-?"

"Bellamy!!" A high pitch voice called out. Gigi. Fuck no. Extra big fuck no. She suddenly poped up beside Bellamy and wrapped her arms around his waist. He looked profoundly uncomfortable and i felt like i'm gonna cry right here right now. I can't let that happen, i just can't.

"Well, i'm gonna leave you two to it" i said, repeating Octavias words, smilling sickly.

"Clarke it's not-"

"I don't care Bellamy, for once i just don't care" i said, turning on my heal, and walking away from them.

Don't cry, Clarke. Don't cry. He's not worth it.

I continued to walk to the abandoned part of our camp. I just wanted to be be alone. I don't want people who don't actually care about the answer to ask me of i'm alright, because then i would have to answer.

"Clarke!!???" I heard someone shout out, but i didn't bother to answer. I leaned my back on a tree and slowly sat on the ground. As my body hit the ground, those tears i've been holding finally came out. I was crying like a fucking baby.

"Clarke?!!" Another scream came out of somewhere, hut just like before, i ignored it.

Why did i have to be so stupid? How could i think that he could change. I thought i'm smarter than that. I closed my heart many years ago, when Mike supposedly died and oppening it again, was the biggest mistake i could possibly make. I opened it and the exact same thing happend. It got crushed.

I will never do this again, i will never ever do this again. I won't let anyone in. I will shut it, lock it and then bury the key somewhere deep inside those woods.

"Clarke? What the fuck?" A large black figure suddenly appeared infront of me. Bellamy. Why does he have to pop up everywhere i go?

"Where the fuck hve you been? I've been calling you for half an hour!!" He said, runing his hand through his hair. His face hardened as he noticed those tears on my face. "Why the hell are you crying? What's wrong babe? Who did this to you?"

You did...

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Thank you, Liz ❤️❤️