Baby Clifford

My Baby Girl

Dear my darling child,

I fear that you will be the last and greatest gift that I will ever give to your father. My sweet child, know that I never felt more afraid to not see you grow and make choices. You are loved by me even when you don't feel my warmth, but every night that you see the stars know that I am making sure that you shall not be harmed.

You are special, not just because you're Michael Clifford's Child. You will be yourself and probably go against your father's wishes and I will support even if I won't be there. Even if you can not see me or hear me or feel me. Know that I will be there with you every chance I get to see you grow. I hope you know that I never wanted to leave you or abandon you. You're my child and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you.

Your Mother

Michael read it off to Melody as she was in her death like sleep. "I wish you knew her, Melody. She was wonderful. Sometimes, you reminded me so much of her, it's not even funny some days, especially when you get angry. I swear I can sometimes hear her American accent in you. You were my last gift she gave me and I couldn't asked for anything better than you." Michael whispered and kissed her forehead. "You're my whole world Melody Anastasia Lyric Clifford. I don't know what I would be without you. I'm basically losing myself as the days you stay asleep. Please wake up soon. I miss you so much. Your laughter, smile, and your beautiful voice, all of it. Just come back to me. Come back Melody, to everyone." Michael continued. "You're so important, it's just very hard to see that now. I'll help you show how you are. I promise." Michael spoke while holding her hand and kissed her forehead.

Then he started crying. "I-I know I fucked up. Big time and I don't blame you if you never forgive me. I should've been less of am asshole to you. You wanted my attention, to be your dad, and let me be involved in the things you wanted me to know about. I should've been there and not just blow you off. I'm sorry baby girl. I'm so fucking sorry." Michael cried, her fingers moved closer to his hand. "I didn't think. I didn't know that would lead to this." Michael cried harder. "Wake up baby girl, I want you back. I want the attitude, the screaming, the arguments, the smiles, the laughter, and you. I will do anything. Just open those beautiful eyes that you have." With his other hand he stroked some of her hair back and her hand tightened around his.

"Daddy's here and it'll be okay." Michael whispered. "I don't think I told you this, but I watched the recording of the play you were in and you did amazing and loved every time you sang. I wish I was there for the live performance. I had to be a dumb fucker and go to a club that wasn't even thag fun. I'm not going to miss anything else. It's utterly unnecessary that I had to learn everything from you taking too many pills and a bottle of sleep medicine. I should've saw it before." Mikey sadly spoke and wiped some of his tears.

"You're my baby girl," Michael started again, "you're all I have left of a family. I should've taken better care of you, way better care. I shouldn't have pushed you away, but I just got tired of the arguing. I'm sorry. I want to know everything. Everything that goes through your head and how important it is. I want to see you be happy, just like it used to be, or however you want to be happy. Even if that means your friends and Danny are over every day. I want your smile on your face and giggles leaving your tongue." He gently smiled. "Baby girl, I love you most in this world and nothing will ever change that." He explained.

"Did you know that I keep all of your school pictures and some of my favorite pictures of you in my wallet or on my phone screen? I do. One of every year, but my absolute favorite one is when you were five and we were in London for tour. A-and you had a biggest smile on your face because you got to jump in the rain puddles and you gotten a pair of rubber frog boots for all of the puddle jumping you wanted. I don't know how the picture turned out so well because you'd just landed with water up in the air, but that's my favorite one." Michael explained.

"You loved it there. I don't know why, but at least you always did, and I would like to know why. God, I remember when you rain away when you were three while we were in tour with Sleeping with Sirens. I paniced so much and this time was no different, baby girl." Michael kissed her hand as she squeezed his hand.

"This shouldn't how a dad and daughter relationship should work. I should give you attention for everything you do, not just because you're in trouble or something like that. I should get to know you, just like I had known you when were little." Michael explained. Both of her hands turned to fits. "Shh, shh. It's alright." Michael looked at the clock and noticed it was close to the time that visitors needed to leave.

"Torn in two, and I know I shouldn't tell you. But I just can't stop thinking of you. Wherever you are. I could fly a thousand oceans But there's nothing that compares to what we had and so I walk alone. I wish I didn't have to be gone. Maybe you've already moved on But the truth is I don't want to know. You can say we'll be together someday. Nothing lasts forever Nothing stays the same. So why can't I stop feeling this way. Torn in two And I know I shouldn't tell you But I just can't stop thinking about you." Michael gently sang and kissed her forehead before leaving.