Last to know-au gallagher girl fanfic

Chapter 59-Twisted Words

Chapter 59- Twisted Words

Cammie pov

I nearly dropped my phone in shock. How could he even think that? I voiced my thoughts in a shaky voice, "Why would you think that?"

His voice was just as shaky and unsteady as my own as he said, "You know why I asked it Cammie." I took a deep breath trying to rationalize the thoughts coming into my head at an alarming pace. This was not how I imagined the rest of my evening to turn out.

"Tell me" I said in a voice barely above a whisper. I needed to know his reasoning behind his response. I needed to know his thought process and what was going on in his mind. I wanted to know his insecurities so I can prove to him that they make him a better person, like he has done to me. I want to help him, I want to help us.

I can't help but feel guilty for all this taking place. I should have worded my response better before. Then he would know he misinterpretation what I said. This was all a big miscommunication which could have been avoided if I thought before I spoke.

"I made you go through so much last year. Because of me you have been ridiculed and hurt over and over again. Every bad thing that has happened to you over the last two years all goes back to me. I made you suffer." He took a long breath before continuing. I had a feeling I knew what he was about to say next and I wish he would stop.

His voice sounded pained when he said his next few words. They were concise and straight forward, but most importantly, they made m heart ache. He was wrong about everything. He cares for me, I know it. Him feeling guilty (for no reason) is a sign that he cares about me. I know that this relationship is not one-sided. We care for each other and that is all that matters to me. I try explaining that to him but it doesn't register in his thick skull. How many times do I need to tell him that I love him? How many times do I need to tell him that everything we went though doesn't matter to me anymore. It got us to this point where we were able to overcome it and move on. That is what is important about those events, not the pain it caused.

I would go though everything a thousand times over if it meant that I would be with Zach. I would do it because I love him.

"If you tell me I am holding you back I will accept it and leave you alone. Just tell me so I'm not holding onto false hope." His voice was pleading and it sounded like he was on the verge of tears. I would be lying if I said I wasn't about to start crying myself.

Tears welled up in my eyes automatically. Before I new it, they were falling down my face freely and I made to effort to stop them. Is that how he truly feels? My guilt worsened, it made my heart clench even more.

Through my tears, I managed to let out a deep breath and a let out an unsteady laugh. I could just imagine the confused expression on his face. "You are an idiot Zach." My tears flew faster then, my breaths growing shorter.

"You are an idiot for believing that I would ever let her go. You're an idiot for thinking that you hold me back. You bring me forward, you make me want to become a better person. And you are defiantly an idiot if you think that everything I have been through makes me love you less." I could hear his sharp intake of breath at this point. I tried not to keep my voice from sounding too hurt. It pains me whenever me says things like that. The same thing happened a few weeks ago when I was paranoid about the letter I got. I understand how he feels now, and the only word I can use to describe it is painful.

"Cammie" he starts to say. I cut him off quickly. There was still so much left to say, so much that he needs to hear. "Please Zach just listen to me." I try to slow down my tears with useless results. It seems like there was no stop to the tears.