What's The Real Score? [JerNella]

Chapter 34

JANELLA'S POV

That night I cried my heart out. I kept on wishing for the pain and feelings to go away. When I left him, I wished for them to stay too on the same spot where he's standing. Why can't they go along with him?

But.. Can't I just forget?

No, simply because you are in love with him Janella. Bear the pain, it all shall pass soon. It won't be easy but you have to try.

Ang hirap pala n'ung iiyak ka na lang hanggang sa makatulog. Iyong gumawa ka ng bagay ma gusto mong pagsisihan dahil mas masakit, pero at the same time pakiramdam mo tama kasi naaawa ka sa sarili mo.

I feel like it's impossible to be happy right now. But I believe in time, my wounds will be healed and not even a scar will be left.

But why can't it be now? Why can't it be easier?

"BREAK NA KAYO?!"

Napapikit ako sa lakas ng boses ni Marlo. Mabuti na lang walang makakarinig.

"Marlo, hindi naman naging kami."

"So bakit nga hindi kayo nagpapansinan kanina?" He crossed his arms. "Paano iyan? Mamaya may scene kayo."

Sweet scene to be exact. I shrugged. "I don't know. Just be quiet about it, okay?"

Tinanguan niya ako bago siya nagpatuloy sa pagmememorize ng script. May shooting kasi kami for Haunted Mansion and Marlo's been asking me kung bakit parang nag-iisasan kami ni Jerome. Kanina pa raw sa ASAP, nahahalata na niya.

"Guys aalis raw muna si direk, balik siya in an hour." sabi ni Ingrid na kapapasok lang sa tent.

"Okay."

"High blood pa si direk," sinundan ni Sharlene si Ingrid habang tumatawa. "Kuya Marlo kasi hinihigh blood si direk."

Napakamot ng batok si Marlo at natawa na lang. Direk Jun got furious kanina kasi hindi makuha ni Marlo iyong expression na gustong makita ni Direk.

I tried my best last night not to cry, ayokong lumabas sa TV ng namamaga ang mata. At ayokong makita rin ito ng mga kasama ko sa set. Especially him.

I wore my sunglasses instantly nang pumasok ang iba naming kasama. And it was a good thing kasi isa si Jerome sa mga pumasok. He looked pissed. Dumiretsa siya sa folding bed niya at nagsaksak ng earphones sa magkabilang tainga saka pumikit habang nakahiga, nakaharap sa amin ang likod.

"What the hell is his problem?" bulong sa amin ni Devon. "He became grumpy all of a sudden."

"Malamang brokenhearted. I feel him, ganyan ako noong naghiwalay kami ng ex ko." singit ni Pao.

I bit my lip. I feel guilty, but why should I? Why would he brokenhearted anyway? He's got someone else.

"O baka naman nagseselos?" Sharlene wiggled her eyebrows at me.

Wrong joke. These are the times when I wished that we were free to praclaim what we had, I hate that they're clueless. It's like a dark secret that will never be revealed and soon, forgotten. A tiny portion of our lives that might have only played a huge part on my side because I was the one who felt most of the pain.

Pero okay na rin, they don't need to know kasi wala naman na. I thought it will last long, pero wala. Wala na.

"Hindi 'yan, baka gutom." tawa ni Ingrid. "Sabi niya kanina nagugutom siya kaya papasok muna siya sa tent, pero bumalik rin agad siya na badtrip. Mukhang walang pagkain kaya badtrip."

He's jealous! Nakita niyang seryoso kaming nag-uusap ni Marlo dito at kami lang. Wait-he's probably angry, not jealous. Iniisip niyang may something sa amin ni Marlo noon, he doesn't even trust me. It's his pride.

Why would he be jealous, right? Gusto kong sabunutan ang sarili ko. I'm on the verge of hurting myself further. I asked for him to let go, he doesn't want me that's why he did what he did and let me go.

Nagulat kaming lahat nang biglang tumayo si Jerome at tumingin sa gawi namin. "Pizza. Gusto niyo?"

"Yun oh!" sigaw ng boys.

"Oorder ka?" nagningning ang mata ni Ingrid. Tumango si Jerome.

Sunod-sunod ang pagtango niya. "Iba ka palang mabadtrip! Sana lagi kang badtrip!" biro ni Sharlene.

Nagtawanan sila, ako naman, automatic na siniko si Sharlene. I know him too well, mukhang badtrip kasi talaga siya. But I was stunned nang tumawa lang siya.

"Ayokong gutom kayo eh," nanunuyong sabi niya. Nilabas ko lang ang cellphone ko at kinalikot dahil ayokong sumali sa usapan nila. Hindi ko alam kung ako lang ba o nakatitig siya sa akin ngayon.

"Hawaiian iyong bilhin mo!"

"Lahat na!"

"Sa Shakey's!"

Nagtalo pa sila habang si Jerome ay nanahimik saglit. "Sige guys, pero more on cheese. Sa yellow cab na lang, miss ko na doon."

Sumang-ayon naman silang lahat, habang ako ay nanlalamig. Cheese is my favorite, and yellow cab pa kaya mas gusto ko talaga.

Nang dumating ang pinadeliver na pizza ay nakatakam agad ako. Kanya-kanyang kuha at kain na sila. Hindi lang ako makakuha dahil syempre, si Jerome ang nagpakain.

Kahit gustong-gusto kong kumuha ay mas pinili ko na lang na magtalukbong at magbasa ng tweets.

Pero sa totoo lang, nangingilid na ang luha ko. Kanina ko pa pinipigilan pero nang hindi ko na kinaya, nagtalukbong na ako.

He seems fine while I'm like a wrecked ship drowning, waiting for him to save me even if it's impossible. Hinayaan na niya akong malunod. Not because I told him to let go, but because he already digged a hole on the ship. It signaled the end of us.

Tinanggal ko ang salamin ko para kusotin ang mga mata ko at mag-ayos ng mukha bago ko ito binalik. Someone tapped my shoulder and it was such a relief when I heard Marlo's voice.

"Alam kong gising ka, dinalhan kita ng pizza."

Bumangon ako at kinuha iyon. "Thanks." I tried to smile. I was a bit disappointed when I realized that Marlo didn't give mey favorite flavor, but it's still pizza anyway.

"Yieee!" Asar ng girls na sinundan naman ng boys. Except Jerome, of course.

Biglang humagalpak si Sharlen,. "Grabe! Favorite mo nga iyong cheese!" sinundan ko ng tingin ang tinuturo niya. She's pointing at Jerome. May hawak na 4 slices of pizza na cheese flavored, nasa platito pa. While he's holding another hand with his other, bare, hand.

Ngumisi naman si Jerome. "Bibigyan ko kasi si Direk!" Itinaas niya iyong isang slice kaya nagtawanan sila. "Syempre akin iyong marami, favorite ko ngang flavor 'to eh."

Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako o ano. But I end up emotionless, as always. Buti na lang hindi ako napapansin ng iba.

Kahit siya, parang hindi ako nakikita.