lost in confusion ↣ luke brooks/beau brooks

Chapter Twelve

I cried into my pillow, I didn't even have the courage to tell Luke I was leaving. I still regret leaving Beau in such a state, kissing him..

I regret it, I know I do, but something inside me keeps telling me I don't regret it. But Luke. If he ever found out, god, he would leave me. I don't think the kiss meant anything, I didn't love Beau the way I loved Luke.

The worst part was that Luke had absolutely no clue any of this happened, he's probably in his bedroom still sleeping. Especially on the night of our first date. God, I am such an idiot.

I grabbed my phone and flicked through the photos of Luke and I.

The day he asked me to be his girlfriend at the beach. The bowling days. Birthdays and parties. Skateparks. Lazy days in. Movie nights.

More tears fought to prick at my eyes that I couldn't even try to push away. I loved this boy, and I want to be with him forever, but once he finds out he'll never want me ever again.

Beau on the other hand, he was beautiful. His personality was amazing, he could be goofy and funny, or romantic, and serious. His smile was beautiful, and his eyes. His lips were shaped perfectly, but when I kissed him it wasn't the same as when I kissed Luke, they didn't fit as perfectly with each other. But I don't know if I love him, not how I love Luke.

I threw my phone at the wall, hearing a crack as it bounced against the wall and onto the floor. I didn't care what happened to it.

I'm a bitch, a fucking bitch. I cheated on my boyfriend, with his brother. But you can't blame me much, Beau was really shaken up.

*FLASHBACK*

He looked up, terrified of my words. Tears continued to flow down his rosy cheeks, leaving stains along them. He looked scared, frightened. I knew he meant every word though.

'Kelsey I'm sorry it's just how I feel', he said biting down on his lip.

'Beau it's okay, but I'm with your brother', I said locking eyes.

'I know', he said looking down, his voice becoming uneasy and breaking.

'I do love you, and I know you don't feel the same way, but I'll always love you Kelsey, I know it's not the place or time, and probably never will be, but I'll be waiting here whenever', he said, fumbling with his fingers.

He looked up, and our eyes locked together. It felt wrong, but right too. I fumbled with my fingers but soon gave in. I took his hand and entwined our fingers together, giving his hand a right squeeze. He moved closer.

I looked into his eyes, he was so beautiful and perfect. He really loved me. I didn't know how I felt, but I definitely liked him in a way. I gazed at him in fascination for a while, and without my noticing, I began to lean in.

Beau didn't object, he moved in too. Our lips connected. His lips were warm and smooth, moist. He bit down on my lip, his tongue gaining entrance. The kiss was passionate, nice. I pulled away and tears pricked at my eyes. I snatched my hand away and ran. I looked back to see Beau, head in his hands, whimpering. I didn't stop, I just ran.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

I can't believe myself. I got out of my bed and walked into my bathroom. I fumbled my way though the cupboards until I found the one thing I was searching for.

They couldn't do much damage, I guess, maybe just a little to end the pain for a while..

I grabbed at least 18 pills from the bottle, threw my head back and chucked them into my mouth. I swallowed each one with water from the sink.

I started to become dizzy. The room got darker, I felt like it was caving in on me. Everything was a blur. I began to walk out of the bathroom, trying my hardest to keep my balance. Before I could even reach the door of the bathroom, everything went black.

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hi🍓

VOTE IF YOU WANT AN EARLY UPDATE!!😱

DRAMMAAAAA LOL

um yeah, so

LUKE AND KELSEY

OR BEAU AND KELSEY

WHO DO YOU SHIPPPP😁

hmm, what's gonna happen to Kelsey?

Will lUke find out?

🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇🍇.