lost in confusion ↣ luke brooks/beau brooks

Chapter Twenty Two

It had been at least 2 days since the party, since Luke cheated on me. I haven talked to Luke since, even though he's came to my house with flowers, apologies and pleads to see me, he does this at least 20 times a day, and yes it's sweet but it will not make up for my heart break. I make my mom answer the door and face him, telling him I don't want to see him. I haven't slept much, I've been up, thinking about him. Our memories. But somehow every time I think of something good that happened, the image of him on top of that girl pops back in and ruins it all. Beau has been by my side the whole time. Beau and Daniel actually, they comfort me and spend 90% of their time now in my bedroom just laying with me and talking. They're so sweet. Beau keeps telling me how Luke isn't coping, he won't eat, he won't sleep, he won't leave his room either. He's just lying in bed, sobbing into his pillow. He won't talk to anyone and he won't eat until he sees me and makes it okay. The only time he leaves the house is to try and attempt to visit me. That's what Beau said anyway. Yeah, obviously I still cared and it did hurt to hear him so down and wrecked, but does he not see what he's done to me? I'm not forgiving him just yet. I mean yeah, maybe he went through the same SORT OF when he found me and Beau kissing, but I found Luke fucking a girl, I just gave Beau and HARMLESS kiss! I'm going through worse than he was, worse heartbreak, because we made up at least 10 minutes later, after a damn harmless kiss. He was fucking a random girl and a party, that's not forgiveable yet.

The girls have been completely by my side, but like Beau they are also encouraging me to talk to Luke, apart from Kylie. She sees my side. No one gets it. I'm hurting. I saw my boyfriend who claimed to me he would never ever hurt me, on top of a girl. I knew this was all too good to be true. Guess I have to move on huh? I decided its not right to let Luke suffer by not eating or sleeping, but I'm not forgiving. I got out of my bed and cleaned my face from the mascara and tear stains all over my face. I put on a little mascara and threw my hair up into a messy bun. I changed into a pair of light blue skinny jeans and a blue lacy top and a pair of white vans. I left my phone on my bed and sprinted down the stairs, ignoring my moms questions like the usual 'where are you going?' or 'are you okay?'. I left the house and speed walked to Luke's house, ready for what I was about to do. I was hurt, and I was so scared and worried about what I was going to do, and I knew this would hurt more than ever but it had to be done, for my best. I had to move on. I knew how I would do it.

I walked through the streets as all of the consequences and worries blared through my mind but I ignored them and continued walking. I reached the street his house was on and began walking a little slower. I was so scared. I still loved him, I know I did but I had to do this. This is it.

I walked up the patio to his door and knocked three times. Jai answered the door and pulled me into a hug.

"He's upstairs babe", he whispered.

I nodded and mouthed 'thank you' to him as I continued my journey through the house. I walked up the stairs and got to his room. I knocked on the door and heard a loud groan and a 'go away' in a mumbled tone. Luke. I ignored him, he obviously thought I was Jai. I opened the door and walked straight on. I saw him lying in his bed. He looked sick, he looked tired, he looked worn down and wrecked. His eyes were red and swollen and his ruffled curls in his hair were messed up, bed hair. It broke my heart to see him like this. He didn't look up, his gaze was set on the roof.

"Luke..", I spoke, in a broken whisper.

He eyes shot to my face as a small smile crept upon his perfectly shaped lips. His eyes lit up. I liked the effect I had on him, it was cute. Stop thinking like this, you came here to do something much different.

"Kelsey, I'm so sorry I love you so much. It was a drunken mistake , I love you, you mean the world to me, and I'd do ANYTHING to take it back, I need you", he said getting down from his bunk and sitting down on Jai's bed, patting the place beside him.

"I know you're sorry but I'm not ready to forgive you, I'm still hurting..but I came here to tell you something", I said.

"Sorry, I love you, go on", he said placing his hand on mine, which I snatched away from his grasp.

I looked deep into his eyes before I said what I came to say.

"Luke, I love you, I really really do, but I'm not ready to get over this so easy. And I don't think I'll be able to for a while-", I said as my voice cracked and a tear ran down my face.

"-and I think I need some time for me and to let go of all of this shit in my life-", I continued as Luke's eyes were staring into mine with a blank look of confusion clear on his place.

"- before I say this I need you do know I love you so much and because I do this doesn't mean I'll stop loving you or I won't care but I need to do this for me...Luke..we need to take a break..like break up for a while until we can sort ourselves out", I whispered.

Luke's eyes got glassy as I said these words, mine however were already full of tears. I've been too used to crying these days, it's not good for me.

"K-Kelsey you can't do this.. n-no it's just what I did talking I swear I can change please just don't leave me", he said, his voice cracking, barely able to speak.

I shook my head, and grabbed his hand. I pulled our entwined hands and kissed them. I held our hands out infront of us.

"See this? This is us, I love you. And I know you are sorry, I just need some time, okay?", I said.

"Okay", he whispered, looking down at his lap, as tears rolled down his red cheeks.

I hated seeing him hurt, but I need this time for me, to move on maybe. I didn't want to leave him, but I knew this is what I needed, it would be better for me. I deserved to go a day without crying. I deserved to okay again.

I let go of his hand and pulled him up from his seat. We both faced each other as we both stood up. I pulled him into a tight hug and placed my head on his shoulder. I pulled away as he began to speak.

"Kelsey? Can I have one last kiss, just one last time to feel your lips until we work things out? I'll miss you too much", he said.

I came closer to him and pecked his cheek.

"I love you and I'm sorry", I whispered to him.

" I'm sorry Kelsey, for hurting you and putting you in misery, I love you", he whispered as I walked away.

I turned back and gave him one last look before I turned and left the room. I walked down the stairs and left the house, feeling heart broken but relieved too. I knew I'd miss him, so so much, and there would definitely days I wished I'd never ended it, but I knew this was for the best. I still hadn't forgiven him yet though, I was still so mad at him, how could he hurt me? Whatever, I have time for me now. It would probably be hard to see Luke in the house and stuff but oh well, I would have to face him sooner or later anyway I guess. Maybe it would be best to avoid the house, and the boys for a little while, clear my head and stuff. It was time for me to move on, accept the loss and leave it behind. And I think I know just how to do it. I grabbed my phone and dialled a number I knew very well.

"Hey, wanna come over? I need to talk."

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ok vote and whatever bc yeah:)

thanks☺

aw, lelsey is over:(

but what will happen?...😮

Who did she call?.