lost in confusion ↣ luke brooks/beau brooks

Chapter Sixteen

I woke up in my bed next to Luke, my head testing on his toned stomach. His breathing was deep, signalling that he was still asleep. My head moved slightly every time he inhaled and exhaled. It was really nice and peaceful. I never wanted to move from this place, it was perfect. His scent was lurking around my nose, he smelt so nice even when he wasn't wearing any aftershave, it was weird, you can't smell good naturally, can you? Well Luke did.

I traced my fingers along his muscly stomach, creating heart shapes along his upper chest area, the pad of my index finger making contact with the warm skin. He held me in his arms so gently, yet I felt so safe with him, like nothing could hurt me, not even my thoughts, he distracted me from them. It was strange, this feeling. In my past relationships, I would usually let them in, really fall for them, but then they'd do something to hurt me or loose my trust but I couldnt let them go, I was so vulnerable. I would be scared, terrified of them. Usually when they love me, they leave me. Sad, isn't it? How someone can be taken for granted, even when they really are as vulnerable and broken as me. I guess that's why it's hard to love someone for me, why I took such a panic and took the painkillers, I'm not good with handling my pain anymore, not after my many failed relationships, not after my many broken hearts, not after my crumpled trust, especially not after I have been made into the broken, worthless girl I am today.

I'm so lucky to have Luke, I know he'd never hurt me. I see how much he cares for me, I wish I could be as true to him as he is to me. I don't love Beau, at least I think I don't. Just a few feelings, but that's not the problem. Beau likes me, and that's still not the problem. The kiss. That's the problem. The fact that I kissed Beau.

I sighed deeply, I can't change the past now, I never could. Just a silly mistake. I feel like I regret it, but something in the back of my mind screams that I wouldn't regret that kiss at all, and maybe it was wrong, maybe it was right. I'm not so sure of anything anymore. Maybe it would be better if Luke and Beau moved on and left me to suffer in silence, it's not as if they can help anyway.

I slowly crept out of Luke's grip and climbed out of my bed. I pulled on an oversized t-shirt and walked into the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror, staring straight at each imperfection I had. How could two boys as perfect as them love me? I sighed and pulled out my phone, tapping on my twitter app.

I scrolled down my timeline, scrolling through the multiple tweets of Janoskian fan girls tweeting Daniel and Jai to follow them, until one caught my eye.

"@BrooksBeau: wishing I could hold her in my arms right now.."

I clicked on his user and scrolled trough his multiple tweets about love and heartbreak, much like the one that I saw first.

"@BrooksBeau: no one knows how much it hurts"

"@BrooksBeau: never felt this way about a girl before"

"@BrooksBeau: why is this so hard..why can't she just be mine"

"@BrooksBeau: I love you...3"

And that was only a few of his many tweets, were they about me? For some strange reason, I got a few butterflies as I read through his tweets. Weird. I actually wished they were about me. WHAT AM I THINKING I AM WITH LUKE.

I feel like I can't breathe, I'm caught up in so much confusion, why can't I just be normal again. I quickly ran into my room quietly, making sure I didn't wake Luke up, grabbed some clothes and changed. I threw my hair up into a messy bun and put on a little make up. I wrote a note telling Luke I was out at the shops getting milk so he wouldn't worry. I wasn't going to the shops though.

I ran out of my house and sprinted to the Brooks house. I didn't even knock on the front door, I just barged in and ran upstairs. I'm sure they wouldn't mind, I mean I'd known them long enough, they should be used to it. I ran into Beau's room, finding him lying on his bed with his laptop on his lap, wearing pajammas, listening to sad, depressing songs. I stood by the door which was now wide open. He looked up, obviously to see who it was rudely barging into his room. He saw me and bit his lip in confusion.

Before he could ask any questions I shut the door and sat beside him, grabbed his laptop and clicked on his twitter profile. I scrolled to the sad tweets he had posted about an anonymous girl, and pointed to the screen, glaring into his emerald eyes in confusion. He shuffled closer to me to read the tweet he had sent out and looked down, nodding.

"Who is that about Beau?", I whispered.

"Like you don't know", he snapped.

I nodded and slumped back against the wall. I reached for his hand and touched his fingers. I interlocked my fingers with his, the warmth of his hands transferring to mine. He looked up, furrowing his eyebrows. I looked down at our hands which were stuck together, they looked like something you'd see on tumblr, you know the romantic quote ones?yeah that, but maybe a little cuter. I looked back up at him. Our eyes locked together, his emerald ones staring into my light green ones. He began to lean in to me and whispered something against my lips.

"Set me free", he whispered against my lips before pressing his against mine gently yet firmly.

I draped my arms around his neck as his arms snaked around my waist. He bit my bottom lip playfully making me gasp, as his tongue slid through the gap between my lips. The kiss was passionate, nice. I pulled away to catch my breath. Beau did the same and licked his lips sexily, I don't think he meant to be sexy though, but I thought it was. He leaned in to kiss me again, pressing his lips against mine. Just then the door swung open. We both pulled away quickly and looked up at the door. The one person I never ever wanted to see this was standing there. The sad eyes, I tears pricking at the eyelids, the faded smile, the slumped shoulders, the weakness in the face and body, staring blankly at us. Standing in front of me was my worst nightmare.

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Who was at the door?😱😱😱

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Luke and Kelsey?

Beau and Kelsey?

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