Chapter Twenty

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by irwindrugs

by irwindrugs

*Beau's POV*

Everything from the moment Kelsey found out got a little better and a little worse at the same time. Nothing changed with my jealousy and crave meant of Luke and Kelsey's relationship. I still wanted Kelsey to be mine more than anything, and the bad part was that I couldn't cut to release my emotion. I had so many cravings but I couldn't because I promised the girl I love I wouldn't. Plus she inspected my arms almost everyday to make sure I wasn't in a dark place as she would say. Little did she know I was very much stuck in that 'dark place'.

The good part being that I actually have someone who cares now. I mean, sure my family would care if they knew but they don't, they have no clue. It's nice having someone to talk to, but obviously I can't tell her why. She'd get creeped out and leave like every one else would, maybe she would. I don't know. But at least I know she actually cares for me, it's nice knowing you're someone's main priority.

She had no clue I harmed myself because of her relationship with my brother. If she did I think it would make it all worse for herself as well. I watch them, everyday. As they laze about the house, doing things couples do. They were so natural with each other. I wanted that with her. They told jokes and constantly played pranks on each other but at the same time they could be romantic and cute together, serious too. Damn, I wish I had her to be like that with her. I wish I could be cute with her. I wish I could be the one to tell her I loved her every chance I got. I wish I could be the one I cuddle with her during horror movies. I wish I could be the one to play jokes on her to cheer her up when she's down. But as long as she has Luke, I will never be the one.

I decided to get myself out of my room and socialise with my friends and try to stop my thoughts from eating me alive, so I'm going to this party tonight. Everyone is going. It's some guy from Luke and Jai's year in school, called Josh, he's hosting the party. His parents are away over the weekend, perfect opportunity I guess. But anyway, I thought I'd have fun for the night, you know? Maybe try to move on from Kelsey to another girl, but I know deep inside my head and heart that's not going to happen.

I grabbed my phone and opened my twitter app and decided to tweet a few fans and do a follow spree.

"@BrooksBeau: RT this and I'll follow you!! #BeausArmy"

I got lots of retweets so I followed a lot of fans and even dm'ed a few. I tweeted some the usual thing like 'I love you' or something. I'm grateful for my fans, I really am.

I logged off twitter after a good half an hour of following fans, messaging them and tweeting. I decided to get ready for the party, seeing as its in half an hour and I haven't even bothered to get out of my bed since 9am this morning. It's now 8:36pm and I'm still not out of my bed. I clambered off the double sized bed and changed into a pair of black semi-skinny jeans and a top with our Janoskians logo on it. I added a few of my own personal touches like my very known snap backs and shades. I added a SnapBack that said Toronto on it, I got it from Canadian fans. I also put on a pair of black UV shades. I wore a pair of red vans to match the red Toronto snapback, and I gotta say, my outfit was pretty nice.

I grabbed my phone and texted Kelsey to be ready in ten minutes because I'd pick her up, along with the girls. No doubt Jai and Luke would bag a ride too. Daniel and James were already at the party, so technically we were late, but it's better to be late than early to a party..right?

Kelsey was telling me how Kylie has a huge crush on Jai, and lucky for her I'm pretty sure he likes her back because every time anyone mentions her he blushes. At least someone has their happy ending. I'm gonna try and hook Daniel and Pandora up tonight. Little skip deserves a girl, Pandora is perfect for him.

I grabbed my phone and slid it into my pocket and left the house, heading towards my car, with Luke and Jai treading on my heels like lost puppies. Jai got into the passenger seat and sat next to me as I was in the drivers, and Luke sat in the back, obviously planning on sitting next to Kelsey.

I drove up to Kelsey's place to reveal her walking out the door with the girls, all glammed up and ready for the party. There were three girls along with her (Kylie, Pandora and Veronica) but all I could see was Kelsey. She looked so beautiful. She was wearing a tight, thigh length, purple dress with a lacy pattern on the bottom half of the dress. It was like she was the only girl there. Even though the other girls stood out too, especially Pandora, she was wearing a bright yellow cocktail dress that made her hair stand out. Jai caught me staring and punched my arm playfully and glared at me, signalling for me to stop staring at Kelsey. I was getting too obvious, yet Kelsey was even more than oblivious to the subject.

This night might change everything.

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