lost in confusion ↣ luke brooks/beau brooks

Chapter Thirteen

I could hear movement and people talking around me, but I couldn't see anything. Am I awake? I'm awake, but I can't open my eyes.

I'm trying to open them but they won't open, I can just hear my surroundings.

I smelt sickness. I heard faint sounds of other people around me but I couldn't make out what it was.

I feel a grip on my hand, Luke I guess. His hands were clammy, but with a strong grip, clasping onto my hand as if he were to let go, i would fall. I want to kiss him and tell him a I love him, but I can't move. Where am I anyway?

I can hear beeping, and strangers talking and touching me. Then I remember, the pills, last night. Luke. Beau.

I had a major head ache. I couldn't even think that Luke would be pain because of something I did, I do not regret anything though. I'm sounding so selfish, but maybe it would've just been better if those pills did kill me. Everyone would be better off.

Luke's firm grip on my hand made me feel guilty, I felt dirty. I'm nothing more than a dirty cheater, I deserve to die. I hear sobbing, and slight shakes on my hand. It killed me to think that Luke is crying, over me. I'm not worth it, I'm worthless.

I'm so selfish, I don't deserve someone as amazing as Luke.

He's perfect, he deserves someone who loves him with every ounce of their heart, not that I don't, because trust me I do. But he deserves someone who doesn't have feelings for his brother. But without Luke I couldn't go on, in all honesty.

I try my hardest to open my eyes and fail once again. I'm not capable of anything more than hearing, pretty shit. I hear doctors coming in and out of doors, talking about the pills I took previously.

They were only pain killers, I didn't realise that the amount i took could have me fighting for my life, but honestly, I didn't care. I couldn't care less if I died right now. I'm worth nothing.

I hear the door open, leaving a nasty creaking sound as it opened ever so slowly, guessing its another doctor. But it's not. A familiar voice husky speaks up.

'Luke, man, can I see her for a sec?', The familiar voice said. Beau.

I could hear Luke whimper, but he lost grip on my hand and left. Beau sat down beside me, replacing Luke's hand with his own.

'Kelsey, I'm sorry about last night, it's all my fault you're here, if it weren't for me you'd be okay. I shouldn't have let my stupid feelings out, I'm so sorry. Forget about me, be happy with Luke, you don't need me, but I need you. But don't worry because you'll be happy so I will too, I hope. I love you.', Beau said. I heard him sobbing a little.

I tried once again to open my eyes. My eyes fluttered open as my eyes struggled to get used to the blinding light in front of my eyes. Succeeding this time. Beau obviously hasn't realised as his head was in his hands.

'B-Beau', I whispered, using all of my energy to say his name.

His head shot up, wiping his tears away. A smile appeared on his face. His smile was beautiful. I felt guilty of my thoughts, I shouldn't feel this way, I have Luke.

'Kelsey you're awake! Are you okay?', he said, and hugged me loosely, careful not to hurt me.

'Im fine, uh, you know why I'm here, right?', I said looking confused.

'Yeah..', he said as tears pricked his eyes once more.

'Beau, I'm with Luke, I'm sorry, I-I can't deny that I do have a few feelings for you but I'm with Luke..it's not right', I mumbled.

'Okay', he whispered loudly as he looked up at me, he could barely manage to get the words out as he was choking on his tears.

He let go of my hand and left. His footsteps were low and lifeless. He placed his hand on the handle and his head shot back around.

'I love you', he whispered, and continued his journey to leave.

Just then I fell back into my slumber, as I couldn't manage to face anyone else, especially not Luke.

*Jai's POV*

I'm worried about Beau.

She doesn't love him like he loves her.

He knows it can never work but he using every bit of him he can to try.

I admire him for that.

But it's his brothers girlfriend.

He can't help it though.

I can't say I didn't feel bad for him.

Because I did.

I've never loved someone who didn't love me back.

Weird?

You could say so.

I call it lucky, or fate.

It must hurt him a lot.

He loves her a lot.

But she loves Luke.

Damn, must be bad.

But I can see how this is hurting her too, because of what happened, obviously.

Seeing her like this is awful.

She obviously has a few feelings for Beau too or this wouldn't be a problem.

She overdosed on painkillers and could've died. Just after Beau kissed her. (Yes he told me ofc ofc)

Watching Luke, in pain and sorrow though. I've never seen Luke like this before. He's so confused about why she did it or whats happening. He hasn't even the slightest clue of what happened between Kelsey and Beau.

He blames himself you know.

It's sad really, he pushes everyone away.

It's weird, seeing Luke like this. He's never been like this before. He thinks its all his fault. That he wasn't there for her. That he didn't treat her as best as he could. Anything that he think might've influenced her. But I know everything he said wasn't true. He treated her perfectly.

He thinks he wasn't there enough for her, so she tried to kill herself.

But I know she didn't.

She didn't want to kill herself, Kelsey couldn't go through with that sort of thing.

She just wanted to end the pain for a while, she didn't know what the pills are capable of.

Kelsey, sweet Kelsey, I wish she wouldn't do something so foolish. She can't run away from it all, it's just going to make it worse.

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