Shattered Innocence (BWWM)

XXIII Part I

//Half a heart without you//

Sitting in the living room with her cousins surrounding her, Alison couldn't help but think about what Harold was doing at this moment of time. He was probably spending with his family; that's assuming he took the day off from the business' .

It had been a couple of days and she was missing him like crazy. The late night phone calls and face time were good but she wanted to see him face to face and kiss him until she couldn't breath anymore. They hadn't been together for long but Alison felt a deep connection to Harold; one in which was deeper and stronger than anything she ever felt.  Everything was so intense. So passionate. So perfect. So real.

Alison signed before leaving the room to grab a shower. Once she was done she got out of the shower and put a towel around her and she took her shower cap off and went to her room in which she shared with her cousin Mary. She creamed herself before putting on her white VS lace bra and panties. She dug into her suit case before pulling out a white t-shirt and a mustard coloured cardigan and light blue jeans and some slippers to walk around in. She put the clothes on before pulling her hair up into a neat ponytail before going down the stairs.

Once down the stairs she saw her brother Joseph out in the conservatory. She hadn't spoken to him since she got here and intially wasn't planning to. But Alison knew that he was still her big brother and that they needed to put what happened behind them.

She made the decision and joined her brother outside. She walked in and sat on the chair next to him, not saying a word. They sat their in silent before Joseph began to speak.

"I'm sorry" he said looking down.

5 years too fucking late Alison thought, but then pushed the rest of the thoughts as that wouldn't help her to fully forgive him.

"Listen Joseph I-"

"No you listen. I'm your older brother and I was suppose to protect you but instead I left you with him. You were so young, you needed someone and I wasn't' there........ Because I  just couldn't take it anymore, I-" Alison signed and shook her head, she really didn't want to hear his excuse's again.

"Look, it got hard ok. I couldn't stay in that house anymore; he acted like I wasn't even his son. Like I was just some burden that he had to bare and I felt so unloved so I had to leave-" Joseph's voice started to break before Alison had enough. 

"No........You don't get to stay that. You have no right to say that he didn't love you when you and I both know that's not truth. You just wanted to have it all but he had other kids to provide for to. You were spoilt so don't come and try tell me you felt unloved when that's just fucking bullshit.....You left because he wouldn't give you the money so you could buy the drugs. That's it. That's why you left. That's why I didn't have my brother there to be there for me that day" Alison said harshly as the memories came back and she found herself holding back tears..

Once again the two fell into silence.  Alison closed her eyes to control her emotions. Yes she was angry, but she wanted her brother back.

"Look I didn't come here so we could argue" she started, causing Joseph to look at her.

"I came here to say I forgive you".

"You do?"

"Yeah. No matter what, your my brother and I do want to in my life, I want us that have that brother and sister relationship that we never had. I want us to start over. Fresh start" Alison said softly. She didn't hate Joseph, she never did. She was just upset and needed to put all that behind her and just be glad that he was there now.