Alone (Niall Horan Fanfic)

Prologue

The names Giselle. 

I don't feel alone. I am alone. There's a difference. 

My life is such a mess. 

I don't know what I did wrong, or what even happened to make Michael hate me so much. Michael is my father, but I hate calling him that. He's a disgrace. He doesn't deserve to be called that. To me he's just Michael.

My mom? 

Yeah, she's dead. She attempted to kill me and her at the same time. The neighbors heard my shouts and called the cops just in time to save me, but they weren't fast enough. She died that day. 

They took me to a rehabilitation center so I could recover the damage that was caused mentally. Seeing her commit suicide and all, caused me nightmares. I heard her voice. It's like her spirit is trying to tell me what to do at hard times like these. 

It's okay baby, you're fine.

You're strong enough.

Go ahead.

Carry on with life now.

I still remember it perfectly though. 

She pointed the gun straight at my forehead. Tears running down her face. Her mascara smeared all over her cheeks. She kept apologizing to me. Until this day, I still don't know why. My heart was pounding extremely fast. I knew right then that my life would flash before my eyes, but I guess not. 

Don't let all this fool you though. Overall, she was a great woman. I loved her, and she loved me. Maybe, that's why she wanted to take me with her. So I wouldn't suffer. So we wouldn't suffer. Honestly, I wish she would've killed me, too. She was an amazing mother. She always defended me. I don't know why my father treated her so poorly? Now I know why she took her own life. She opened my eyes. Made me see the unseen. 

My mom taught me this trick where if you repeat something over and over again.... It loses its meaning. Our lives she said, are the same way.

If you watch the sunset all the time, it just becomes 6 pm. 

You make the same mistakes over and over again, you'll stop calling it a mistake. 

If you just wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up. One day you'll forget why. 


Nothing lasts forever, she said. 


The devils that speak into my ear, really really hate me. 
They always tell me to do this damn thing I won't do. 
I mean... Why listen to a demon? 
Why show weakness to something that wants to control and possess you?
I mean... why?
I keep asking myself that. 
This strange thing never let's me see reality. I feel like I'm in acid all the time. 
A living dream. 
A living hallucination. 
I mean... why? 
Oh yeah! This drug problem I have. 
Ha. 
Something to really be proud of right?
Mixing Geodon and Marijuana is something you should totally do. 
Yeah?...
No. 
I see things that aren't even real every fucking day. 
All I can do is sit back and watch the little fuckers dance around me.
It's fucking insane. 
How they taunt me with such low and deep voices. 
The truth is... I can at least admit to the problem I have. 
And make it sound like nothing... right?
Well... everything I list is nothing but facts. 
You see, I am not... How you say normal. 
I am... 

Different. 

But if you think this is bad? Wait until you hear more. Because this? This is only the beginning. Just remember that.....

Real eyes, realize, real lies.

We're all just remains of what we used to be. 

I killed someone, don't you see? 
I killed the girl, who used to be me.



A/N: Hi guys this is my first ever fan fiction on Wattpad!  If you like it please vote for it! Thanks! Love You! ♥

Updated Author's Note: Hey guys! So this story might seem a bit immature and not well-written in the beginning, but it was written when I was new to Wattpad so I didn't know much, but I swear it gets better after a few chapters as I grew older and matured, thanks for reading!

 P.S. Wow 10k reads this is crazy. Thank you so much!

Edited: 4/14/14