To Kill Gods or Die Trying

Chapter 21-The Blackhearts

August 28th, 2301

"Do you really want to leave this place?"

What the hell was he talking about? Was the entire plot made to stop us from reaching our goal of getting out of here?

"We'd rather stay..."

I suddenly realize how much I've overlooked the situation.

I get it now. I really do. If I didn't have Allysse or kids to take care of... I wouldn't mind living here. Those who have the least dream the most. It's still not an excuse for what they did. Then again, from an extremely merciful perspective, I can see why they took the approach they did. Every single one of us has made memories here. For crying out loud, I decapitated a dragon in virtual reality. The urge to hold onto moments like those is so strong that you wouldn't want to go back to the real world. Hell, what would be the point of going back? We have it all here.

When you're good at fighting, you become invincible. Yeah, I know I could die at any given moment during a fight. The more I cheat death, the more I know things can go wrong, but the more powerful I feel. Every time I walk out alive, I learn how to better survive for the next situation to do it all again.

Then there are the perks of being here: Stable market economy of quest taking and service. No government. The food is great. No taxes. No bills. No paperwork. No stress. No worrying about finance and the 401k. No worrying about college saving for not one but two kids. No debt. No creepy neighbor that stares at you when you get in your car to get groceries.

There are a lot of things that we all can live without. Especially the young high school and college kids. Then again... No enjoying movies. No fast food. No video games. No sleeping in my soft bed. No internet. No technology. No electricity. No running water. Those are all first world problems.

Having no family hits me the hardest. I can't cook whacky stuff with Allysse. I can't see her smile. I can't wrap my arms around her and tell her how much I love her and how much I miss her. I can't even picture the faces of my wonderful one-year-olds. I can't see the triumphant grin

from my dad telling me how proud he is of me becoming a father and him, a grandparent. We don't have it all here.

I take my life for granted. The things I can't live without, some people have never had.

I can't forgive the Blackhearts for what they did—452 players killed. 118 NPCs killed. Fires burned 10 blocks—three of those being our trading plaza. Thousands of gold's worth of trade destroyed. Players traumatized.

Most significantly, hope withered. Without hope, what motivation do we have to keep moving forward? Whether it's a false illusion of success or a real chance to make a difference, hope keeps us all moving. Cecelia reminds us daily. She reminds everyone daily and encourages them to encourage others that our hope, since day one, will send us to the final days where we all win.

I can only understand their motives. They have it all here, but the rest of us have a lot to live for when we get out. The only thing waiting for them is despair.

I remember D-pop. He was so brave. He told me his story before he left; his wife, teenage daughter, and young son died in a car crash about four years ago, yet he held his head high like he had nothing to lose in the face of impending death. He brought the people who felt like shit and felt they were gonna die useless feel like heroes. Hell, they were heroes. I wish he was alive. He would have guided the Blackhearts and turned their despair into positive energy. Guys like him stay strong, despite loss big or small, and never give up, because if they do, everyone else will fall.

Kinda like me.

Mack lights my candle. I raise it in the air with the other thousands assembled at the funeral.