To Kill Gods or Die Trying

Chapter 38-Concession and Refutation

October 19th, 2303

"Too many died for that to be considered a victory," Havanna says grimly.

We all nod in agreement. We started with exactly 500 and ended with 189.

"Where the hell did we go wrong? We killed it but lost so many people," Sess adds.

"We have to evaluate all the factors and make adjustments as to how we fight," Margot suggests.

"Well, starting with the god itself. Since they're probably not all the same, what general characteristics can we point out?" Essej asks, preparing a list on a fountain pen and paper scroll.

"It had the capability to kill many with one strike," Sess says sternly. "Huge, but faster than a human," Cecelia adds.

"1,000 bars of health," Pranav adds.

"Exactly, what about us as a collective group?" Essej asks. "Everyone did their own thing," Mack states.

"Like, damage output didn't matter as individuals or, like, in groups. We are all powerful, but, like, going solo drastically reduced survival." Rachel adds.

"Going off of that," Margot adds, "I think the biggest problem was that we didn't work as a whole when we needed to. It was just everyone going all out. We didn't have people watching each other backs, so when a hoof or a claw came down, our disorganization was our biggest killer. I don't think it was about HP or powerful attacks. It was about structure. Thus, people died."

Essej nods in agreement. "We were together but not one. If we're going to have low casualties, then we'll have to restructure completely." "I take full responsibility for all of this," I say grimly. All eyes fall upon me. "It was stupid of me to overestimate our forces and underestimate the god, just by thinking that sheer numbers could beat it. I know better. I literally got a girl killed being careless. She looked so young. That was her chance of freedom that I wasted. She could have done something better with the rest of her life than... just die. That look she had on her face when she threw me out of the way. She knew who I was—Ben Even: The Savior. That's probably why she did it. I mean, who the hell does she think she is, valuing my life over hers? I'm just a guy tryna get outta here, like everyone else! It should have been me! I could have-"

"Ben," Havana interrupts.

I look up in pain and regret. I really f'ed up.

"A leader will make mistakes. It doesn't matter how detrimental they are because a good leader always knows what's best and how to do it, and he learns from his mistakes. People respect you for a reason, Ben. Only you can lead us to victory because all you do is learn, use what you learn, and then win," she says.

Pranav continues. "I would follow you to the ends of this world Ben. I really mean it. No matter what order you give me or any of us, we'll be ready to execute it. Since day one man, we've followed you. You're our leader, and no matter how badly you mess up, we'll always still respect you and follow your lead."

"Look around, Ben. It is because of you, that we are all here. You stepped up when no one did and we defeated a god! A god Ben! Remember when we started off as wood-ranks joking about the power— even the existence of the gods in this world? You organized the forces to clear every quest, then you helped train everyone for the 30 demigods, and now look at us. It emphasizes the guild's name. We are really god- killers now. You have given everyone hope Ben," Cecelia remarks beaming, "and no matter how badly you mess up as a leader, as long as you keep your head up, hope will keep us fighting."

"The thing about the dead is that they didn't just accept the risk of death, but they embraced it with pride and a sense of duty. No one died in vain Ben. No more self-pity. Remember D-pop. No voluntary sacrifice is squandered. Every decision that you make isn't always gonna be the right one, but we all were, are, and will be prepared to die for the cause and for each other. As long as we have the will to fight and you have the will to lead, we're gonna make it," Alo says seriously.

I'm truly humbled. "Then next time, we're doing it right. Minimal casualties. I made a promise that we'd all get out. I'm gonna deliver to the fullest."