Bellarke - UNITED

Chapter 15: Lost

"Not all who wander are lost."

Chapter 15:
Lost

BELLAMY POV:

I was waiting in front of Clarke's tent, I leaned against a tree and observed the beautiful nature that surrounds us. Finn rushed out of her tent and I realized that's my cue. I walked in and found her crouched on the ground with her hands around her knees. I felt so furious and all i wanted to do is to punch the SpaceWalker right in the head. She was lightly sobbing. In the moment I both froze from the unknown feeling I got in my gut telling me I should help, but I didn't know how. She noticed me and brought her head high to catch my gaze. She then released it and brushed her sleeves against her watery eyes.

''Clarke?'' I called out her name for a response.
She looked at me, her blue eyes were so broken. You could almost feel the sadness.

''What's wrong princess?'' I asked, wrapping my arms around her. She laid her head on top of my chest.

''Finn-'' She wanted to finish but couldn't from all the sobs.

''Take a deep breath princess and then tell me what he did to you so I can kick his ass.'' In a most serious way.

She let out a single giggle. ''Don't. He was right to say it all.''

''What did he say?'' I widened my eyes, waiting for the answer.

She shook her head. ''It doesn't matter, we can't keep doing this.'' Doing what?

''You have me confused princess,what is it exactly that we're doing?''

''We're getting close,Bell.''

''And?'' I demanded her to continue.

''And I know you don't have any feelings nor care towards me so we can't keep doing this. I can't be broken again.'' A single tear falls down her cheek ''I can't let myself break.'' She releases from my embrace.

I feel hurt, like something is tightening my chest, the ability for me to breath is slowly fading and I don't know what's wrong with me. Is it a panic attack?

''I'm sorry.'' She says as she gets up and walks over to the curtains of her tent to exit. I grab on to her hand, not wanting to let her go.

''Clarke-'' I could literally feel a pile of water filling up my eyes, but I don't let it show it.

''Don't do this.'' I beg her.

''I am really sorry.'' She says as she walks away and disappears into the dark night.

I exited her tent and went for a walk. I slipped away from the camp without anyone noticing and then roamed around the dark woods. It was chilly at this time of the night. I take it it was somewhere just before midnight now. It was pitch black but I needed some alone time and the darkness was the best choice.
I guess losing a first real friend is harder than I thought so, plus she wasn't really my friend. I always saw her as something more..

***

A couple of hours later

***

I've been walking around for ages, I've tried finding an exit or a route to the camp but I wasn't able to. I'm lost, physically and emotionally. I'm not thinking straight. Why is it that this privileged Princess got into my head? She got under my skin. Clarke Griffin, how is it supposed to be now? Am I supposed to forget about everything we've done and every moment we've shared?