Bellarke - UNITED

Chapter 30: You and I

"There is no such a thing as a perfect person, but one's heart can have a perfect intention."

Chapter 30:
You and I

CLARKE POV

His ignorance made no sense to my mind what so ever. The fact that he had chose to avoid my appearance for almost 48 hours is heartbreaking. I'm not familiar with the reason as of what i have done to deserve such careless acts towards myself. 

Every thought of it made my heart ache, every look at him made my stomach hurl with butterflies surrounding it. Every single glimpse that wasn't shared between ourselves was giving me shivers down my already weakened body.

How did I end up falling in love with the careless king of the 100? Ruthless in many ways and in some even a monster but also, the king with a side only a few knew of. Honoured to be a member of those few, I knew which feelings he was hiding and which not, I knew to believe him and to persuade him at some occasions when deeply needed and I know that he cared, cared for his sister, the camp and even me.

Now why would that care suddenly go away? Why would he destroy everything that has been built on between us? Why? Was I not enough or was it that he just wanted to use me as all of the other girls and once it didn't work,he gave no other thoughts of me enter his mind?

Confused, full of blame, mad and even furious. Those were the things that surrounded my head and made my heart scream for help. How do you get over something that you didn't even know how it ended?

"Please look at me,Clarke." Bellamy snapped me out of the trans of the lost thoughts. His hands cupped my head and our eyes melted with each other.

I was too furious to fall for that.

"There is nothing you can say that can justify your unexplained ignorance towards me." I tell him, breaking myself apart from his hands and shattering the gaze he held over me.

"If you could just-" He pleaded but as soon as I heard his voice again, I couldn't move out of the madness he has caused over me.

"You know what Bellamy? I don't care if you used me or if you think sh!t of me, all I care before I'm done with whatever this is is one thing." My eyes began to water and I could feel the burning rush coming.

"Why?" I almost broke.

"Because I'm in love with you Clarke!" He practically screamed, making me speechless.

"What-" My shattering voice spoke as his words repeated over and over again in my head.

"I couldn't look at you after I had almost lost you, I couldn't bare the moment of not kissing you and not having you by my side. You are what I want, Clarke. I think I realized that when it was too late." He spoke. Such a speech shouldn't have been allowed to be said as it was the only way to restart your heart and heavy your breathing in a way no scare nor excitement could.

"Bellamy, I lo-. No,
We can't. We have a duty to our people. " As much as it pained me, the words needed to be spoken as it was the only thing I could hide my emotions behind.

"Clarke, I-" Bellamy said,now passionately gazing into my blue eyes.

"Why would you avoid me, why would you do that to me when you knew it was hurting me?" I asked as a tear rolled down my burning cheek.