Loki: Game of Thrones

Chapter 90 - Showing A Monster

Loki said nothing to Sansa about his visit to the Erie, or the death of her aunt by his hand. He knew she had not been very close to her Aunt Lysa, but she was still a family member. And Loki knew that Sansa cared for him, but one wrong step on his part, and she would withdraw it from him. Loki came out of his chamber not long after returning and locked Lysa Arryn's journal in his private desk. Stepping out of his room and closing the door, Loki hissed in pain. He reached his hand inside his shirt and felt the scar on his chest. It was hot to the touch and hurt like hell. Damn! Loki thought to himself. The time of year has passed! What is the matter?! Loki angrily pondered. His stormy reflections were interrupted when Sansa appeared in the doorway of the dining room.

"Are you ready for supper?" she asked.

"Yes, I am," Loki responded, quickly shielding his pain beneath a mask of calm. Sansa smiled at him and disappeared back into the chamber. Loki inhaled quickly, trying to bury the pain, but it was very difficult. He was afraid he would have to change his form in order to bring himself any relief. No! I won't become that monster! Not while Sansa can still look upon me. With that in mind, Loki squared his shoulders and walked into the dining room. Sansa was slicing up ham and he saw fried potatoes resting in a large serving bowl. They were covered in melted cheese, butter, and many types of herbs and spices. Loki's eyes widened and Sansa turned to look at him. She was wearing a dress of emerald green, with no sleeves, and the back was open in a V till it reached the bottom of her spine. A gold belt cinched it together, and another was done in a band beneath her breasts. Loki felt as if his breath had been stolen away. Would she ever stop being beautiful? "You did all this?" he asked her.

"Yes. I've been practicing for a while, and the ham, I think, turned out perfectly moist," Sansa said. She turned her back on him, and the failing sunlight seemed to make the pale skin of her back even creamier. Loki wanted nothing more than to stroke that gorgeous back and bring Sansa the pleasure she deserved. But, Loki shook his head a second later to remove these sexual thoughts from his mind. Only if it was consensual. "Have a seat, Loki. I want your opinion," Sansa told him and Loki quickly sat down. She heaped his plate with food and poured him some wine. Before she sat beside him, Sansa did the same. Loki sliced through his ham and dipped it in a lemon and wine sauce Sansa had made. Putting it into his mouth, his taste buds were immediately appeased by a wonderful flavor that brought him delight. Sansa watched his reaction with eager anticipation. He nodded his head as he popped a potato into his mouth.

"It is delicious, my lady. You have definitely taken to the craft of cooking like a duck to water," he told her. Sansa nodded as she ladled the sauce over her potatoes and began to eat herself.

"Although, I would like to advance in some other departments. I do not intend to just be a polite lady, sitting around the house all day," Sansa informed him. Loki's eyebrow quirked up ever so slightly. "I've seen you meditate and attain a level of peace that I cannot achieve by normal prayer," Sansa said and Loki leaned back in his chair. "I know I am no sorceress, and cannot do the things that you do while in meditation, but I would like to practice," Sansa told him.

"Meditation is not just for those you possess magic. All can attempt it, but not all can realize true peace. I myself have been able to do it for a while, but recently I have had some trouble. Maybe we can assist one another in this endeavor," Loki suggested, and Sansa brightened visibly at this idea.

"Let's try after dinner. I want to see where I am currently," Sansa said and Loki stiffened a little. He had been hoping to retire right after dinner so he might relieve the pain he was in. But, Loki nodded his head and continued eating his meal, trying not to think about turning blue in front of her.

Once they were finished with supper, Sansa darted off to her room to put her nightgown on. She believed more comfortable attire would help her relax. Loki, meanwhile, removed his leather coverings and contented himself with a simple loose shirt. He also took his boots off. As he stared down at his toes, the urge to just let his glamor drop to alleviate his discomfort increased. Loki allowed himself to be weak for an instant, and his toes turned blue. It crept up his body, the cool feeling easing his muscles and soothing the tension. Loki felt like a wire that had been twisted round and round till it was ready to snap. This was how he could unwind. Loki was off in some other world when Sansa knocked. She knocked again and hearing no response, opened the door. Sansa stood stock still when she beheld Loki in his real form in the center of the room. She would never forget the way he looked when he rescued her during the riots. The fiery red of his eyes countered by the coolness of his blue skin. And now, she could see it again. Loki's eyes were still closed, but he must have sensed she was in the room. He spun around and looked at Sansa with horror on his face. "What are you doing in here?!" he asked her, his voice rising.

Sansa stuttered for a second before she said, "I was coming to meditate with you. You shouldn't be ashamed of revealing this side of yourself to me. It is as much a part of you as your Asgardian upbringing is."

"But it is not!" Loki shouted and Sansa just gaped at him. "I hate this side of me! This horrible monster! I wish to reject it! Denounce it! Rip it from my soul, but I can't!" Sansa was startled by this. How could he hate himself so much? What was it about Jotun heritage that made him recoil with disgust? That was when her own anger was stirred inside.

"You are an idiot, Loki Laufeyson!" she hissed. Loki froze and blinked, his red eyes concentrated on her.

"What did you say?" he asked her, taking a step towards her. Sansa stood her ground, her back rigid, and her expression set.

"You are an idiot!" she repeated emphatically. "I swear to the Mother, you are more vain than a woman if you are that concerned with how people view you. This is the reason you won't let me love you, isn't it?" Sansa challenged. Loki was honestly dumbfounded. His voice had failed him, and he had no quick response. "Isn't it?!"

"I let you love me, but I can't let you love me in that way," Loki said.

"Why?" Sansa asked, putting her hands on her hips and fixing him with her piercing blue stare. "Please come up with a good reason, because if you give me anything else, I will tear it to shreds," Sansa warned him.

"Because I am a monster," Loki answered, his voice so quiet Sansa had to lean forward to catch it. She made a face and snorted.

"You are no more a monster than Joffrey Baratheon or Petyr Baelish. That is a pathetic excuse, Loki!" Sansa scolded. Loki had calmed down for a second, but his anger returned now.

"No, it is a very real reason! If you were to touch me while I am in this form, you would be burned, Sansa!" Loki said, and he held up his hand. Sansa saw that he not only had the normal lines most people had on the palms of their hands, his fingertips also had ridges and swirls that she did not see on normal human hands. "I cannot hurt you, Sansa! If I was to cause you any harm, I would kill myself!" Sansa blinked at him a few times, making sure she was hearing what he had just said correctly. Loki could not stand the thought of hurting her. Which of course meant...

"You love me," she said. Loki closed his mouth and looked down at his hands. They were shaking and all he felt was shame. Shame for admitting his love to her, a woman so far above him simply because she genuinely cared. It was a hand touching his own that made him jump. Loki stared in wide eyed wonder as Sansa took his hand and placed it with her own. They fanned their fingers out and Sansa felt a tingle go all over her head. After a second, she closed her fingers around his hand, and she placed it over her heart. Loki gasped but that was when Sansa brought her other hand to cup his cheek. "I don't care that you think you're a monster, Loki. This is not a monster. This is the man I'm in love with." Sansa tilted his head down and pressed her lips to his. It only took a second for Loki's arms to snake around her waist and pull her to his body. She deepened the kiss, but Loki's tongue won the bout for supremacy. Sansa wanted to forget everything. She wanted everyone else in the world to disappear. All she wanted was to be alone in the world with the man who had captured her heart. Loki, the God of Mischief.