Without You Is How I Disappear

Why are you sad mommy?

{Gerard's P.O.V}

The next morning, it was just me and Bandit left. I couldn't see Harry about.

I woke up and heard Lyn-z's voice. She wasn't in here with me. I think she was out in the living room but I could still here her voice.

Bandit was lying on my arm, using it as an extra pillow underneath her head. I had to slide it out from her so I could get up and out to Linds.

I made sure she didn't wake up when I did it. She looked really peaceful and was really tired from last night.

I rolled across the bed onto Lyn-z's side and off the edge, springing up fast and checking she was still asleep. She was. I leaped over to the door and out into the living room closing the bedroom door softly behind me.

I sprung up quietly behind Lyn-z. I didn't see she was on the phone but I should have known.

"Oh, well erm I, I er, yes I know it's just I have a lot right now and err I have Ba-. Yes I know, I understand that but.. .. .."

I pounced on top of her and hugged her tight leaning over her shoulder to give her a kiss.

".. .. .. that but I have, OH F*CK! GERARD ARTHUR F*CKING HELL.. .. ..!" she yelled out in shock turning to face me. She was angry and her voice said the exact same. She gave me a look of disgust, who ever she was talking to must've been important and now I made her jump and start yelling and swearing. Sh*t.

She turned back and around and continued on the phone.

"No, no er not you no, definitely my husb- yes definitely not, I promise, yeah I know. Look, no stop, stop. Stop! I have to talk to Gerard before I agree to anything, no. No. No, I have got a choice thank you."

I think whoever she was on the phone with was just getting on her last nerve, I could tell when she was pis*ed off and she definitely was.

"NO, okay. I have a husband and a daughter and I'm going to talk to them first before I agree to do anything with you so goodbye." Her voice was stern and cold like she was telling this guy off.

She hung up and threw the phone on the floor.

"I'm sorry for- " I began but she cut me off.

"No, that doesn't matter. Just made me jump a little." She said throwing get her self on the sofa lying completed across it face down.

I slid her legs to the back of the arm and sat in front of them.

"So, what was that all about?" I asked slowly.

"The manager is booking a tour for the band and it's gonna be sort of a long one." She answered back.

"Oh." I didn't know what to say. The band hasn't done anything big since Bandit was born other then a few drinks together. In a way, it was time for her to get back in to the swing of things again but at the same time, I didn't want her to leave. My Chem hadn't done anything either. I've barely seen the guys and now I've gotta try make up with Mikes.

She just lay there on the sofa as if waiting for me to say something.

"Well, how long is a while?" I asked still sort of taken back.

"I don't know, but I don't want to be gone more then three to four weeks Gee, I can't be away from the two of you for that long. I really don't want too." She said beginning to let out sobs.

I put my hand down on her back as I leant over to her closer along the back of the sofa cushions.

"Hey, come on. I'm seeing Steve tonight, maybe I could talk to him explain to him how you feel. He has a wife and kid too right who's about Bee's age too." I was trying to be positive.

"Yeah, they do. Could you? Steve won't want to be gone too long. He'll miss his family too, right?" She was nervous about it. She didn't want to leave Bandit.

"Yeah, definitely!" I answered rubbing her back.

Bee walked in and came over to her mom.

"Why are you sad mommy?" She asked as Lyn-z tried cracking smile rolling her head round to face her.

"Well Bee, mommy might have to go away for a little bit. Just a little bit though but daddy's going to be here for the whole time." She said trying not to upset Bee like she was.

"Oh. Why mommy?" She asked looking like I felt.

"Well Bee, me and daddy play music for lots and lots of people with our friends and my boss wants me to go." She answered trying to put it in a way so she'd understand.

"Oh, that's okay mommy." She said sitting on the floor in front of her mom.

"Really Bee, mommy won't be here to tuck you in and say goodnight or make you pasta just the way you really like it hunny." I chipped in to the conversation.

"Yeah that's true, but daddy will be here and tuck you in every night and I'll teach him how to make it for you." Lyn-z said quickly.

"Okay daddy. But you have to make it like mommy does!" Bee said smiling.

Lyn-z gave a beaming smile in my direction.

"I'll try my very best bumble Bee!" I said and we all shared a small chuckle.

Me and Lyn-z got onto the floor with Bandit and the three of us hugged tightly for a few seconds.

I got up from the hug and picked Bee up lifting her on top of my shoulders heading through the hall to her room.

I got Bee dressed then started drawing with her lieing on her bedroom floor. I took pictures on my phone of the pictures she drew.

"Daddy.. .. .." She stretched.

"Bandit.. .. .." I replied in the same tone she did.

"I don't know what to draw." She said setting her head in both hands.

"Oh, errr okay. How about you do a card for mommy. And then she can keep it with her while she's away so she can think about us."

"Yeah! Can you draw me a star please daddy?" She said handing me a peice of paper.

"What colour?" I asked running my hand across all the pencils and pens she had layed out in front of the two of us.

"What's mommy's favourite colour?" She asked.

"Yellow I think." I said trying to remember.

"Can you do the star yellow then please daddy?"

"Sure Bee."

We stayed there - colouring and drawing for ages.

I looked up to see Lyn-z stood leaning against the door frame. Bee quickly hid away Lyn-z's picture card. We both looked up at her with gleaming eyes. She'd been taking photos of us drawing together.

She had gotten dressed and had make-up on.

"Gerard, go shower and get dressed hunny. It says turn to be with my little pumpkin thanks." She said playfully.

I sprung up and gave Bee a quick kiss. I walked over to my wife liking my hand and wiping away the make-up then kissed the patch I'd cleaned softly.

I headed off, took a shower writing new songs and got dressed.