Without You Is How I Disappear

I love you p-pumki -

I woke up to Lindsey's hand slipping from mine. I picked Bandit up as gently as I could while I stood up to meet Lindsey. I set Bee back down on the chair then stood over-shadowing Lindsey.

Her dark brown eyes shimmered in the low light of the room.

"I l-love you Gerard." she stuttered.

"I love you too Lindsey!" i muttered gently.

And then . . .

Bandit woke up and looked toward her mom.

"I love you p-pumki-" her voice was soft and quiet.

Unlike the ringing tone of the long lasting bleep of the machine beside her bed.

One last breath escaped her lips.

"I love you too mommy!" Bandit whispered from behind me.

"Linds -, LINDSEY!?" i screamed.

I knew what I knew, did I want to believe it - no, i didn't.

"MOM, MOMMY-!" Bandit screamed coming closer.

On que, doctors rushed in. 

Along with them came Ray, Christa, Frank, Jamia, MIkey, Steve, Jimmy and Jennifer.

"MOMMY-Y-Y-Y!" Bandit screamed out again.

The doctors gathered round her bed opposite where i stood.They tried to start up her heart again until one called it.

"Time of death: 1:15 am, June 23rd, 2012.

"LINDS, LINDSEY! LINDS - BABY!? HONEY?!" 

I intertwined my fingers loosely between hers, sobs escaping me. Her flesh was still warm but her muscles were weak. She had no life anymore. Not one drop of life left. 

She was gone.

The doctors left the room leaving the 10 of us on our own with her.

Bandit screamed out.

"LET ME GO-O-O! DADDY-Y-Y!" 

My neck rolled round as far as it could to watch, out of my proliferate vision, Bandit squirming out of the tight grasp of Steve as she was shut outside, door held shut from the inside.

Jamia was releasing frequent sobs as she curled into Frank's chest. Tears were streaming down his face dripping onto her dark coloured hair.

Jennifer froze still with no emotion on her face. Jimmy released a few deep breaths as he inhaled frequently.

Christa practically fell to the floor. Ray too. They held each other in their arms and rocked on the floor sobbing aggressively, breathing heavy screaming for gasps of air.

Mikey avoided all eye contact as he fought with Steve trying to open the door letting Bandit back in if she so chose to.

The noise in the room seemed to avoid going through my ears as suddenly silence fell. Lindsey's fingers slid through mine and fell flat to her side. 

I brushed her hair back and leant over the metal railing of the bed side and kissed her head for one last time. My lips crushing heard against her forehead with all the love, passion and urgency I had left.

My heart was crushed. There was just a whole where it was meant to be.

Upon return of kissing Lindsey, i turned round slowly and paced toward the door tears rolling down every inch of my face. Steve slid out of the way briefly, Mikey froze until the door was opened and he rushed past me, storming down the corridor leaving a river behind him.

I knelt down to the floor as i pulled my daughter by her waist to me and hugged her tightly. Her head sat on my shoulder, the same as i did over hers. I could feel her eyelashes flutter as down my back ran a waterfall of tears.

"Mommy's an angel, - isn't she?" She whispered. her voice soft and trembling.

I nodded my head then answered matching her tone; 

"Yes Bee, mommy's an angel."

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I had to hold back tears writing this.

This has been a long couple months writing this fan fic and I am really happy with how it turned out. My plan for this story has changed so many times and even though I knew what would be happening next, I still felt like crying.

This is the first official fanfic on my page- thakyou for being apart of it and reading along.

I've started writing the sequel if anyone wants to read. It's called "I hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene."

Please comment, give feedback, vote, follow ( i follow everybody back!!)

I want to say a huge thank you to QueenOfTomatoes for reading this sh*t from the very beggininning as i published the first chapter.Honestly, it means so much - thank you. 

(you) Sie sind in jeder Hinsicht perfekt. Die Welt ist grausam Aber ich weiß , zusammen WIr können uns gegenseitig helfen zu sein, wer wir sind wirklich!

I want to say another thank you to OmegaSigma. You don't know it but you do inspire me for some of this, so thakyou - I can't wait for our next awkward hug! :P Thankyou for listening to my rants about life as we walk home and for trying to be there for me as much as possible when i freak out. Even when i walk home in just my socks and you're brother thinks i'm a total freak questioning our friendship. You do mean a lot Ad, thankyou for putting up with me.

I love you two so much!!