Without You Is How I Disappear

We're truly sorry . . .

{Gerard's P.O.V}

Lyn-z was sick.

Real sick.

The only way they could come up with to get her better and to make sure the baby was okay was to give her an emergency C-section.

People slowly arrived after i'd called Mikey.

She'd been in there for a good solid hour. Something went wrong. I knew it had, what ever it was, it wasn't good. 

Footsteps were forming behind me until a set appeared in front as the double doors opened.

I followed them up, black shoes, black trousers, teal scrubs type shirt and a long white coat. I looked the doctor in the eye as he met my gaze with sorrow and sadness wiping all over his face.

His mouth opened up as if words were soon going to fly from it but then shut to prevent any news leaking.

Painful seconds had passed by. It seemed like light years had passed.

I put my hands down on the floor as Bandit stayed still, removing her arms from me as I pulled my self up to stand in front of the doctor.

She was still close to me, i could feel her small body against the back of my leg.

He then began to speak.

His words were a dagger that pierced what little of my heart was left.

"We're truly sorry but the baby - your son passed away before he was born."

He's dead.

That's what he were trying to say.

They didn't save him fast enough and now he's - dead.

All of a sudden the feeling of Bandit standing behind my leg slightly disappeared as i watched Ray from the corner of my eye take her away.

Then I heard the sharp shrieks of Bandit crying.

At that moment, I lost my complete SH*T!!

Before I knew it the front of this guys shirt was wrapped in my fist as i held him at arms length up the wall. 

"YOU KILLED MY SON! YOU KILLED MY BOY!" i yelled in his face as he tried to squirm from my grasp.

Tear after tear rolled down my heated face. My clothes were sodden in salty tears.

I felt arms wrap around me as I was pulled off of the guy releasing him to the floor.

Frank and Mikey dragged me out of there as fast as they could while Jamia took the twins and Miles to her parents. Christa waited for Lindsey to come out of theatre. The only way I know this, was because when the guys were dragging me around, their wives were yelling, telling them what they were going to do next.

I was angry. Of course I was. I was allowed to be.

I squirmed as their grip tightened around me. Heck, i even shoved them both into a couple walls as they tried to take me somewhere 'calm'.

Shelves and cabinets that were unfortunate enough to be in my path, were thrown down to the floor. Everything spilling out. I found this new sense of hurt, anger, pain. I had an unbelievable strength that i guess came with this wipe over of emotion.We passed a receptionist desk and as we went past, i decided to swipe everything from it's surface. Files, papers, stationary even mugs of coffee. It all got dragged off, thrown to the floor in  my rage. Tornado's of papers filled the air. They weren't going to get away with this, no one would.

Tears still continued rolling dripping from my jawline.

"Gerard! I know you're hurting. I know you're in pain and i'm sorry, i really am but you gotta keep your chill, for the girls. For your wife, for your daughter." Ray explained sitting me down on a cold bench outside the hospital building.