Without You Is How I Disappear

Harry has a name - Its Harry NOT 'it'!

{It's still from Gerard's point of view}

I sat leant up against the sofa with a bag of frozen peas on my junk watching kids shows. Bandit soon finished playing with the toys she sat with and climbed up on the sofa totally oblivious to me and the peas.

The pain had sort of gone but I couldn't be bothered to move so I just sat the peas down beside my leg. The two of us sat glaring at the T.V screen for about two hours.

Bandit gasped real loud.

I flinched and turned towards her sat on the sofa nealing up to look at her. I could feel a panic wipe over my face as I looked to her.

"What? What is it Bee, what's wrong?" The panic began to start taking over me.

"HARRY!" she screamed out beginning to burst out into tears.

"What's up with Harry Bee?" i asked continuing to panic as a response of the tears.

"HE'S NOT HERE, HE ISN'T HERE DADDY!" she continued on crying even more.

I began scouring the sofa with no luck for the giraffe and then pushed myself up off the floor to stand up and then pick Bee up swinging her around my side as she screamed into my ear.

"Bee, when was the last time you saw him?" I asked her trying to make finding him a whole lot easier for the both of us.

"ERRRRRRRMMMMMM" she thought then added, "I, I, I DON'T KNOW" she stuttered then again continued to cry out.

Great!

"Okay, okay sweetheart. It's okay. We're going to find him okay, promise!" I said reassuring her despite the panic I always have when she begins to cry.

The two of us ran around the sofa as I lifted the cushions with one hand still clutching onto her with the other as she wrapped herself round my waist. He couldn't be found there so she hadn't got him when she came in to sit on the sofa.

Err, had she dropped him in the hall way?

"Bandit, hunny, did you have him this morning when you came in here after mommy helped you get dressed?" I asked kissing her on the head to try calm her down.

"No daddy." she said calming the screams and turning them into plain old sobs.

That only meant the bedroom.

I clutched her to my side as I ran with her through to our room opening the door with my foot and looking around the room for Harry.

She gasped out again, "DADDY LOOK!"

"WHAT BEE, WHAT?" I said trying to look in the direction she was as we stood frozen in the doorway.

"THERE!" she pointed to her army camp bed where the sheets lay neatly with Harry laid out on top with his long neck stretched out along the pillow - Lyn-z of course!

I set her down on the floor where she escaped me to run over to her bed grabbing the little blue tie on the way to gabbing Harry from her bed.

"YAAYYY" she screamed out running up to me, giraffe in one hand and tie in the other. I held out my arms and nealt down on the floor and hugged her tight. A couple seconds later she pulled away, as did I, and she handed me both Harry and the tie.

I took both from her and sat Harry on my lap as I tied his tie half way up his long neck like I used to for Mikey when he was a kid for school.

Then the door bell went.

"Bee, I think Uncle Mikey or Nanny and Grandad might be here!" I said as I handed the giraffe back to her.

She ran past me through to the front door.