Without You Is How I Disappear

'Bro-hug'

{I'm getting sick of writing this but: still Gerard's P.O.V}

I took Bee to a craft store a little while away from the house. We picked up a load of glitter, stickers and pretty little things she wanted to stick on the card she was making for Linds.

I dropped Bee off back at home. I started to play Iron Maiden and sang along. Every now and then, Bee would sing too and I'd high-five her everytime she started.

I went straight out to meet up with Steve.

"Gerard, man, hey!" He said as I walked into the bar.

"Steve, hey." I said as he started that awkward 'bro-hug' where you sort of shake hands but not, then walk side on into eachother and hit eachother on the back real hard.

"So how you been?" He asked as he led me over to a couple chairs he'd been waiting for me at.

"Good thanks. Sorry I'm late, I was taking Bee to the craft store to get glitter. How about you, dude?" I explained.

"Aw that's sweet Gerard. I've been good. Violet is obsessed with glitter, I find it everywhere."

Both of sort of laughed.

"Thanks for having Bandit the other week. She drew a picture of you. Wanna see?" I said pulling out my phone from my front pocket.

"Ah na, no worries dude. Show me the drawing." He insisted.

I pulled it up and showed him. He took my phone from my hands and looked at it closer.

His face sort of lit up.

"Dude, that's real good. She's got a real talent y'know just like her parents." He said handing the phone back.

"Ha, thanks man. How's the wife?" I asked not knowing her name.

"Oh, yeah Gerard, she's good. Always playing with Violet taking her out and stuff." He answered before taking a few sips of the bottle of beer he had.

"Sweet, we should all go out some time, take the girls to the park or somert." I suggested knowing Lyn-z would be pleased.

"Yeah man, we really should! How about Lyn-z, she alright? Not heard from her in a while." He said setting the bottle back on the table.

"Yeah, kinda my fault. Sorry. She's been stressing over me with the whole drink situation so, she's sort of been pre-occupied because we're trying to be there for Bee before we have to go on tours and stuff." I explained kind of embarrassed trying to make up a lie.

"Ah, no worries dude. How is she with then state tour?" He asked with a concerned face.

"Honestly, I think she's okay now but this morning she was a complete mess. She doesn't want to go away for long. She's freaking out about being gone to long Steve." I told him trying to get some sort of similar feeling from him.

"Yeah I know, I don't really wanna leave either dude but we all have families now, we can't quit our bands, our music, the fans that have been there for us." He returned. I knew that would mean he wasn't going to do a lot about it if anything really.

I gave a brief nod. I mean I knew where he was coming from; I have a wife and a daughter, Frank has Jamia and the twins, Mikey is - I don't really know what's going on with him but Ray has a serious relationship going on but still we gotta have an album out pretty soon and then that means a year round tour.

Steve distracted me from my chair of thought.

"Look, Gerard. I think it's gonna be a month tops. 3-4 weeks, just try to make her come round. Show her how good you are with Bandit. She'll be fine." He said trying to encourage her by encouraging me.

After that, we just kind of picked up conversation between moments of awkward silences.

After three hours with Steve time was dragging and the bar was getting louder and more crowded. I looked at my watch and made up an excuse.

"Ah jeez. Oh erm, sorry Steve but I, I gotta go. Bee is in bed by now and Lyn-z is probably really tired."

"Oh yeah, no, no that's fine. I should be off anyway." He said trying to pull off the same move.

He leant in again for one of those 'bro-hugs' and burped all over my shirt. I sort of looked up at him and gave him a 'what the hell' look. He chuckled and we went our separate ways.

"Complete A*s b*stard." I muttered as I went off to the Jeep. I now stunk of the beer he'd been chugging down on.

I rode home with Iron Maiden like I did with Bee.

I parked in front of the house where I usually did and turned off the ignition before climbing out of the car and then tried to softly slam the door behind me as I walked around the car and onto the slabs to the house.

I slot my key in the lock but Lyn-z opened the door before I could myself.

"Hey hun. Before you say -" I began.

"Gerard, you stink! How many did you have? I thought we had a deal." She said disappointed.

"None, the pig burped all over me after drinking through three. Bee asleep?" I said.

"Oh, that sounds like him. Yeah, just went down." She said while I took my keys from the door then followed her in to the house.

"Oh right."

"Did Steve say anything, about the erm tour?" She asked quietly.

I could see she'd been crying. I could see she was worried about the tour.

"Oh yeah erm." I paused and I saw the tears start to form in her golden eyes. "He said that there's nothing he could do. I'm so sorry hunny. He said it's what we all have to do." I finished not knowing what else I could really say.

"Oh. Did he say how long for?" She asked as we stood in the centre of the house between all the rooms.

"About 3 to 4 weeks he said. But it's okay because we'll come to your first and last show Linds. I promise you hunny, everything is going to be just fine and the exact same when you get back." I said trying to get her to understand.

She fell, crashing to the floor in tears.

I got down beside her and dragged her in to me bringing her into my open legs and cuddling round her front trying to comfort for her as she wept forward.

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Okay so, I wrote this chapter in the car to Scotland and began reading others.

Basically I thought I was okay at this but reading two of the best fan fics I've read while being on wattpad, I realise - nothing major happens in this fic, I have plans that I never do and I  imagine stuff when I can't sleep but I never write it just cuz other stuff comes up or because, well actually I don't fully know why. But yeah. I'm going to carry on but I don't even think any one has really read or enjoyed past chapter 11.

I will write a sequel that will be more exciting  (i hope) wear basically sh*t hits the fan. (Now I'm imagining that actually happening. Wow, this is how a 14 year old entertains them selves when there is no wifi. I'm living like the stone ages.) Any way. . . If u are majorly bord but you wanna know what happens then I'm going to write the sequel without actually having to read the first book. So there.

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