33: Delusional Disorder (Revised)

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Delusional disorder, previously called paranoid disorder, is a type of serious mental illness — called a "psychosis"— in which a person cannot tell what is real from what is imagined. The main feature of this disorder is the presence of delusions, which are unshakable beliefs in something untrue. People with delusional disorder experience non-bizarre delusions, which involve situations that could occur in real life, such as being followed, poisoned, deceived, conspired against, or loved from a distance. These delusions usually involve the misinterpretation of perceptions or experiences. In reality, however, the situations are either not true at all or highly exaggerated.

People with delusional disorder often can continue to socialize and function quite normally, apart from the subject of their delusion, and generally do not behave in an obviously odd or bizarre manner. This is unlike people with other psychotic disorders, who also might have delusions as a symptom of their disorder. In some cases, however, people with delusional disorder might become so preoccupied with their delusions that their lives are disrupted.

Although delusions might be a symptom of more common disorders, such as schizophrenia, delusional disorder itself is rather rare. Delusional disorder most often occurs in middle to late life.

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I stepped on the stage and received my diploma, shaking hands with the dean of the college of Medicine. This is real! I already graduated from med school! I'm one step closer to my dream!

Hinanap ng mata ko ang mga taong inaasahan kong makakadalo, sina kuya at si Terrence. My eyes found Terrence at the very back of the auditorium. I raised my left hand that held my diploma and smiled widely, proud of the fruit of my labor. Four years in med school is no joke. I invested blood, sweat and tears just to get to where I am today, not to mention the shitload of money we had to pay!

Nagmamadali akong bumaba ng stage para makapagpapicture kasama ang kuya ko na nasa baba ng stage. He was happy and teary eyed to see me finally wearing the academic regalla.

"Congratulations, bunso, Dr. Anrie Yanara Kaneda. I am so proud of you. Class valedictorian pa talaga!"

He hugged me sideways and kissed the side of my head before heading back to his seat by the bleachers. Inabot ko ng tingin ang kinatatayuan ni Terrence pero wala na siya doon. After a few minutes, I received a message from him.

"Congratulations baby. I am very proud of your achievement. Sorry I could not finish the whole ceremony 'coz I need to go back to the hospital. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll prepare a nice dinner for the both of us. I love you, my An."

I was happy to see him. I was happy that he was present on my very special day but at the same time very disappointed that he was only present for a few minutes. I guess I would know how it would be like to be that busy soon enough. Doktor siya, at magiging doktor na rin ako kaya dapat maintindihan ko yung pagiging busy niya dahil ganoon na rin ang magiging routine ko sa mga susunod na araw.

The ceremony ended with us, graduates, throwing our caps in the air and taking photos with each other. We bid our goodbyes to the people who became our friends and took mementos from each other.

Jake stood at one side, watching how I interacted with my classmates. He opened his arms, signalling me to approach him and give him a hug.

Tumakbo ako papunta sa kanya at niyakap siya nang mahigpit.

"Thank you, kuya. Thank you!"

"Sorry."

"It's supposed to be you're welcome, not sorry."

"Sorry I wasn't always there when you needed me. You're such a strong woman, hindi mo kinailangan ng tulong ko all this time."

"Kasi nga baby sister mo ako kaya mana ako sayo. You're a tough nut crack, malamang isa rin ako."

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