The Wicked Doctor

51: Incompetent Cervix

An incompetent cervix, also called a cervical insufficiency, occurs when weak cervical tissue causes or contributes to premature birth or the loss of an otherwise healthy pregnancy.

Before pregnancy, your cervix - the lower part of the uterus that opens to the vagina - is normally closed and firm. As pregnancy progresses and you prepare to give birth, the cervix gradually softens, decreases in length (effaces) and opens (dilates). If you have an incompetent cervix, your cervix might begin to open too soon - causing you to give birth too early.

An incompetent cervix can be difficult to diagnose and treat. If your cervix begins to open early, or you have a history of cervical insufficiency, your doctor might recommend preventive medication during pregnancy, frequent ultrasounds or a procedure that closes the cervix with strong sutures (cervical cerclage).

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"I thought you came here for vacation but why are you moping? Tara lumabas tayo. The OB said you're ok and you don't need bed rest kaya wag kang mag self-imposed bed rest dyan at tumayo ka. We're going to Fotografiska and Vasa Museum para naman malibang ka. Baka bigla ka na lang maglaslas dyan eh." Bumangon tuloy ako sa kama kahit tinatamad ako. When I got up from the bed, nausea hit me like a freight truck.

I rushed towards the bathroom the vomited everything that I ate for breakfast earlier. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang pag-akyat ng lahat ng kinain ko at ang hapdi ng lalamunan ko habang nagsusuka ako.

I held on the bathroom sink as Jake rubbed my back and held my hair for me. I vomited until there was nothing left and rinsed my mouth afterwards. Nanatili lang siyang nakatayo sa likuran ko nang mag-tooth brush ako at inabutan niya ako ng tuwalya.

"Sige na, maligo ka na. I will get you some dry crackers para naman may laman ang tiyan mo. The poor baby's nutrients went down the sink." Naiiling siyang lumabas ng banyo at ako naman ay natawa na lang sa pinagsasasabi niya. Nakita ko na lang siyang naglalatag ng damit sa kama at isang pares ng doll shoes sa paanan ng kama.

Limang araw na kami dito sa Stockholm at limang araw na rin kaming off grid ni kuya mula sa mga taong nakakakilala sa amin sa Norway. Although we have kept ourselves hidden, I know he has been talking to someone on the phone but it's fine by me. I'm very much sure that it's not about me because he doesn't hide anything from me and even talks on the phone while we're together.

Hay kuya kong isa ring tanga. Tanga na torpe pa.

Nang matapos akong maligo at magbihis, inabutan niya ako ng isang pack ng crackers at isang tasa ng English tea. He know I can't tolerate the taste of regular tea anymore and even though I love coffee, I can no longer drink it. I miss my daily dose of extra caffeine but for the sake of the little one iiwas na lang muna ako. Kumain ako nang tahimik habang pinapanood niya ako.

"Nagiging masunurin ka na. Keep up the good work." Inirapan ko lang siya dahil nagsimula na naman siyang mang-asar.

"I miss this. I miss us. Yung inaasar lang kita palagi. When I accepted the offer to study medicine in Norway, you were just 12 or 13. Nagwala ka pa noong nalaman mong aalis ako. Sobrang clingy mo. And look at you now, all grown up and pregnant with your first baby. Damn! Ambilis ng panahon. Yung baby na binubuhat ko noon magkakaroon na ng baby. My baby sister is now a grown woman and now my colleague. You made me so proud when you became a doctor like me.

Sorry kung matagal kang iniwan ni kuya, An. Sorry if I made you feel like I abandoned you. This time I will be with you." He held my left hand while tenderly touching my scar, rubbing circles on it. I felt all the emotions from his voice and all the sincerity that laced his words. Remorse and regret, those were the two things that I can sense from his voice.