The Wicked Doctor

23: DNA (Revised)

DNA or deoxyribonucleic acid, is the hereditary material in humans and almost all other organisms. It is a self-replicating material which is present in nearly all living organisms as the main constituent of chromosomes. It is a molecule composed of two chains that coil around each other to form a double helix carrying genetic instructions for the development, functioning, growth and reproduction of all known organisms and many viruses.

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Terrence

I had a child with her. We had a son.

My whole world went crashing down on me as soon as those words left her lips. How could I do this to the woman I love and to our unborn child? Natawa ako nang pagak nang paulit ulit na rumehistro sa utak ko ang kaalamang nabuntis siya at nakunan, nagdusa siya nang mag-isa. Kahit man lang sana sa pagluluksa para sa anak namin nasamahan ko siya. 

It was all my fault. She lost our baby because of all the heartaches I gave her. I don't know if she could ever forgive me. I couldn't even forgive myself for what I have done to her. All she ever did was love me but I paid her back with heartbreaks after heartbreaks. 

I wanted to punch myself and bang my head into the wall. I wanted to feel the pain that she felt during that time, just to lessen the guilt that I was feeling at the moment. Kusang tumulo ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan. I feel so guilty. Pakiramdam ko ako na ang pinakamasamang tao sa mundo dahil pinabayaan ko siya noong oras na kailangang kailangan niya ako. Nasa tabi ako ni Stacy noong mag-isa siyang nahihirapan sa pagbubuntis niya sa anak namin. 

I was not there to give the foods she craved for. I was not there when she was in the hospital, bleeding and crying. I wasn't there to tell her that everything will be ok and I will always be with her. 

How will I ever tell my mother that the grandchild she's long been dreaming of was lost because of his son's stupidity?

All I can do now is cry over my regrets and my wrong decisions. Baka sakaling namumuhay na kami nang masaya kasama ang anak namin. Dylan could have been my son, too. Even if he was An's son with another man, I would still love him the same way I would love the kids that shares the same DNA as mine if she takes me back. 

I wish I can turn back time. I wish there was an undo button so I can relive the events and change the course of my life. I should have followed what my mother told meto run away with Anrie. But it's too late. She already has someone else at may anak pa. 

She's mine. And I will have her back. And this time, I won't let go of her anymore. I feel sorry for whoever her husband is. 

"Doc, ok ka lang?"

"Yeah. I will be."

"So it's true then. May chismis dito sa ospital that you and Doc K used to be lovers."

"She was my fiancee. She was my girlfriend back in med school. A lot of things happened and now... Here we are." I shrugged and sighed. Gusto ko siyang bumalik sa akin pero hindi ko alam kung paano pa niya maaatim na tignan ako kung ako ang dahilan ng pagkawala ng anak namin?

"Shit. Kayo pala yung dragon na yun. Astigin yun eh! Di ko maimagine doc!" At nagtawanan pa sila.

I threw my pen hitting dead center of his forehead. Despite the tears, I managed to laugh. "Sige tawa pa. Ibabagsak ko kayo sa assessment."

"Sorry naman. We're just trying to make you laugh. Too much information talaga ang narinig namin kanina. Sorry talaga doc, we weren't really eavesdropping. What are you gonna do now?"