Secrets |Sidemen FF|

.Chapter 8.

Josh POV.

As soon as I got out of the school I headed to the alley to meet up with Jack. I told him to meet me at exactly 3:45 and it's now 3:30 leaving me 15 minutes to get there which is very easy as its only a 10 minute walk back.

As I walked I got a text, it was from Simon,

Simon: Yo, Vikk is still shaken up, what did you do to Kacey?

I read it but put my phone back into my pocket, I'm already getting to close, to close to Simon, to Vikk, to everyone that was in that stupid detention, they can't find out. They can't know why I did this to my self.

I enter the alley way and wait for Jack, I check the time and see it was 3:40, leaving me five minutes to wait. Why did I even get into this stupid shit, it's so bad for me, but it makes me happy, even if it's just for a short while, at least it's not self harming, even though I am technically harming my body.

I felt my phone buzz and see I got another messages from Simon.

Simon: Josh? Bro I can see that you have read them. Come on man.

I see Jack from the top of the alley way and I put my phone on do not disturb, before he reaches me. "What do you need my brother." He says and I sigh, "What you got?" I ask and he looks in his pocket. "250Grams of Marijuana, 50 grams of Heroin, and 10 grams of Coke." He says and I sigh.

"I just need the heroin" I say and he nods, he gives me a bag and I take it. "£150 bro." He says and I hand him the money that equivilating to around 15 grams of heroine, making me set to not have to see Jack for a while, "Thank you for dealing" He says and I just smile and nod, finally Ive restocked for the next 2 weeks, I walk home quickly and get into my flat, I run into the living room, before grabbing a syringe from the drawer.

I grab the bag and pour about a gram of the stuff onto a spoon and starting to heat it up to get into a liquid, the syringe at the ready before taking off my jacket, revealing my stabbed wrist and elbow. "Why why why did I get into this shit." I whisper to myself, before sighing. Knowing that I'm going to be feeling better after this hit, just one fucking hit. I grab the syringe before lowering it closer to the spoon, it sucking up a sort of brown thick liquid and then placing it to my vein in my forearm, it already a dark purple from all the drugs I've previously injected into it the night before.

"Im so sorry mum and dad." I whisper before injecting myself with the drugs, I instantly wince as I push the drugs into my veins. Before taking it out. I threw the syringe on the floor and coughed loudly. Feeling it rush in my veins and electrifying them, making my eyes water, like they always do and yet become huge bowling balls of jet black.

I felt my hand shaking as I start to feel my sanity slip away. Slip away into a tidal-wave of depression and loneliness, overwhelming me with the fact that the drugs are the only thing that make me happy, make me feel just that slightest bit of freedom that I've always needed, because I don't need to be happy.

I just want to be free.

I felt tears fall down my cheeks and suddenly started laughing at how I was crying, I laughed so hard because if something so tiny it was extremely weird. But I didn't care, I was in the comfort of knowing that no one knows, and that's what I'm happy about.

The only thing I'm happy about.

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Tobi's POV
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"Just, stay safe, yeah?" I tell Vikk and he nods, before I pat JJs back and leave the building. I decide to text Sammie, not in the mood to meet up.

Tobi: Hey love, can we not see each other tonight, a really shit day. Xx

Sammie: That's fine! Don't worry, I'll just see if Marie or Po is doing anything, I'll catch you tomorrow yeah? Xx