Secrets |Sidemen FF|

.Chapter 16.

JJs POV.

My eyes widened and so did Harrys. "Fuck." I whisper and he shakes his head. "JJ, are you sure." He asks and I nod. "The most sure I've ever been Harry..." I whisper and he instantly smiled. "Well, thank you for letting me know bro." He says and I smile. "I know something big about you, I could only tell you something big, as long as you promise to keep it a secret." I say and he nods. "I swear." He says and I nod. "You're not homophobic are you?" I ask and he instantly shakes his head.

"Course not, Vikks gay, I would of left this 'Friendship' ages ago." He says and I nod, of course he isn't. Because Vikk had been out with Kacey for about 7 months before shit happened. So if Harry was homophobic he would of never gotten involved at all. But I guess we all care for each other, even if we hardly know one another.

Yet we all know something about each other, some more drastic than others, like all of us knowing about Tobi's depression and Ethan drinking and me now knowing about Harry's anxiety. And everyone knowing about Vikk and Kacey.

And we all stay by each other.

I heard the fourth bell ring and I looked back at the class room and sighed. Seeing everyone packing up there things. "Come on, let's go to the dinner hall." I say, my eyes not leaving the entrance to the classroom. I see Harry stand up and I stand up as well before heading down the hall.

I look over at the classroom entrance again, kinda waiting for Vikk. I was just about to stop when I see him leave the classroom. He was the first one out, he's usually last. He was looking down at his phone, he shook his head and put the phone in his pocket, before wiping his eyes and heading to the cafeteria.

"What was that about?" Harry asks and I shake my head. "I don't know but I saw he had tears in his eyes when I was trying to calm you down, come on let's go and see if he's okay." I say and Harry nods. "I swear if I was in his position I would of committed suicide. Having Kacey do that to me even more than once would make me want to end it." He says and my heart instantly started picking up the pace. "You don't think?" I ask and his eyes widened. "Oh no don't worry, I know he's strong." Harry reassures me and I nod before we head to the cafeteria.

"Your not alone you know." I whisper and he furrows his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" He asks and I sighed. "With 'Depression'. I say and he shakes his head. "Not many people know what depression is like JJ." "But I do." I say and raise the sleeve of my hoodie up, his eyes instantly widened as he saw a lot more cuts then he had on his wrist on mine.

"I have this thing called Dissociative Identity Dissorder. Which is where I have multiple personas just in my body. So me being me now, I could switch and be a different person and then switch back into this person and completely forget what had happened before." I explain and he furrows his eyebrows.

"How do you know you have it?" He asks and I chuckle. "Because I got officially diagnosed with it about a week and a half ago." I tell him and he nods. "Only Tobi knows, so when I was acting up about Tobi's suicide, I don't remember that happening because I was a different person inside of my own body." I tell him and he nods. "Isn't that scary?" He asks me and I laugh. "Yeah, the only thing I remember about these cuts where my mind tricking me into thinking I was so lost in the world as my other self and I needed to bleed to know that I was alive." I said and he just looked down.

"I couldn't imagine not knowing why you would harm yourself." He says and I nod. "It's terrifying. I can remember things if I really try. But I tend to block it out. I have to take medicine to make it less frequent." I tell him and he nods. "So what's the other guy called?" He asks and I sigh.

"Tobi told me to call him Olatungi, my whole name, and me now JJ. But Olatungi is when I'm angry, I think I have a third that just doesn't care about life who does this, because I can remember a lot of things from him. He scares me." I whisper and he nods.

We reached the cafeteria and I looked over at Harry and I see him smiling. "Thank you, for trusting me." He says and I just smile back. "Don't mention it." I say before we head over to the table. And everyone was there. Vikk was on his phone. Scrolling through I guess texts. The three girls where talking. Ethan was talking to Tobi and now Harry. And Simon and Josh where talking. I sat down next to Vikk and he jumped.

"Woah calm down. It's just me." I tell him, he just sighs and turns off his phone, before placing his head on the table and sighing. "Sorry, I just had a shit night." He says and I furrow my eyebrows. "How come?" I ask and he sighs. "Shit happens." He whispers, I just nod, I wrap my arm over him and he just leaned into me.

"Are you okay?" I ask, rubbing his back slightly, his bones very prominent. It's scary how skinny he is. He is so beautiful. But how is he so skinny? "Yeah.. Just tired of everything." He says and I nod he gets up from his seat and sits down on my lap before hugging his face in my neck.

"I'm not okay..." He whispers, just quiet enough for me to hear, even though I don't think he wanted me to know. I instantly wrapped my arms around his slim waist and sigh. "You can tell me what's up." I tell him and he nods. "Can I come over tonight?" He whispers and I nod. "Of course." I say and he just nod. He felt like a feather on me. He was extremely light. Is his health okay, I hardly ever see him eat. Is he just a nervous eater around people.

I look around me and see Harry smirking at me, I just shake my head, making him laugh. I looked down at Vikk and kissed his head. "Are you sure you are okay?" I ask him and he nods. But doesn't say anything. "Who has a free period next?" Ethan asks and I shake me head. Josh, Simon, Sammie, Po, And Tobi put there hands up.

"Okay, wanna come back to mine?" Simon asks and they all nod. "What lesson do you guys have next?" I ask the remaining people. "I have art." Marie says and Harry nods.
"I have music." Vikk says in my shoulder and I nod. "I have French." I whisper and he nods. The bell rings which made him hug me tightly. For some reason I feel like he is really hurting inside, and I really don't know why, but I will try, try and help him. "What ever the problem is. I'll help you." I whisper and he nods. Before slowly departing from the hug and getting off me. "Yo guys, you coming back to mine after lessons?" Simon asks and I look down at Vikk. He shrugs. "If we are there we're there." I tell him and Simon nods. "Okay, see you tomorrow if you're not round mine." He says and I nod, before the two groups parted way.

I see that Vikk had to go to his music and I smiled and hugged him tightly, meet me by my locker yeah?" I tell him and he nods. "Bye Jide." He whispers. I just smile at him before heading off to French.

Something's wrong.
And I need to find out why.
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I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! If you did please comment! Otherwise I'll talk to you all later X

Love you allXxX
Sammie=3