Secrets |Sidemen FF|

42

Tobi's POV,

I sighed as I walked to my house. Josh by my side as we walked quickly. "Tobi, slow down." He says and I sigh, but continue walking at speed, my heart racing and my breathing fast.

As we reached the house I saw my step dads car in the driveway, my heart stopped as I stopped, staring at the car. "He's home." I whisper. "Tobi, don't go in there, just come back to mine." "I need to grab some clothes." I say, but I also need to grab my razor.

Just in case things get too much.

Josh sighed, but stayed by my side as we walked up to the house. I knocked on the door, not having the key on me, that's another thing I need to grab, money and keys.

Richard opened the door, he stared at me and then at Josh. "Where have you been?" He spoke, but his words where incomplete and slurred. "Josh's." I say and Josh stood up more straight. Richard looked over josh before staring at me. "Is he coming in?" He asked, gesturing to josh and josh nodded. "Yes." Josh spoke.

My dad stared at me, his eyes like knives cutting into my skin. But no relief was felt this time.

"Can I come in?" I whisper, looking down, he grunted before opening the door wider. "Where's Sam?" "I'm not with her anymore." I say, going inside. "I heard." He said and I shook my head.

"How?" "She texted me about it." He said, before suddenly grabbing me, bringing myself close to his mouth. "She says she missed me." He spat, before smiling. "Have fun here josh." He fake smiled, before giving me a cold expression. And then leaving the hallway completely.

I felt my heart fall a little when he said that, of course she does, that's why she wants to get rid of me, but stay friends, still a way to get to him. i don't even know why I'm questioning this, I guess it just makes me sad that she would go for him. But the arguing was too much for me, and the spark wasn't like how it was a few months ago.

My love just, disappeared.

I shook my head before running upstairs, hearing josh behind me.

We went into my room and closed the door, as soon as we did this he instantly hugged me. "He's lying." "Hes not, I know he isn't." "I can tell Tobi, have you actually ever seen texts with him and her involved?" He asks and I sigh but shake my head. I felt tears start to brim my eyes as I thought more about it. What he used to do to me.

I felt my wrist start to pulsate.
That sudden urge to scratch and cut was overmastering.

I detached from josh, feeling my mind starting to concentrate on my wrist, like it was an irritating itch, the type of itch that makes me want to rip my skin off and bleed out.

"Fuck." I whisper to myself. "Distract yourself." I whisper to myself once again. Before running to my wardrobe, opening it but staring at the clothes, I didn't know what to do, I felt my mind cloud me. Like I needed this. I need it.

"Tobi?" Josh asked but it was almost drowned out by white noise. I kneeled down, scrambling to the small drawer at the back of the wardrobe. "Where are you?" I whisper, grabbing it and throwing the small drawer out of the wardrobe.

The cabinet broke, sending the razor blade across my floor.

"No! Tobi!" Josh exclaims suddenly, grabbing the razor. "Josh, Josh please." "No, you're, you're cutting yourself Tobi, that's not okay." He says and I shake my head. "I need it please." I whisper, my voice cracking as a lump caught my thoat. Feeling tears sting my eyes.

I took my top off, preparing myself almost, he looked down at me, making him flinch as he looked at my body. "Can you not see what you're doing to yourself?" He asks, but I shook my head. "I don't care anymore." I whisper. Looking down.