Secrets |Sidemen FF|

56

JJs POV,

We were all in the cafeteria, hardly anyone in as it's sunny outside and everyone is out enjoying the sun, the dinner ladies not in as it was almost the end of lunch and they where out getting there own lunch, the cafeteria shut off as the bell will go in a few minutes, the guys and girls are here, talking to one another, Josh and Tobi sat next to each other, both of them laughing at something one of them said, holding hands, staring at each other, full of love, happiness. Whatever they went through being sorted out.

Ethan and Harry talking, Ethan showing him how much weight he has lost since he has focused himself on working out then drinking, which I am very happy for him, Harry's anxiety has gone down, I don't see him having panic attacks or hear of them at all now.

He wears a lot more jumpers though. Which I know why, but, I guess it helps him. Even though it's a fucking bad way to deal with things.

All the girls are here, Sam, Po and Marie, Sam going in between conversations with Po and Marie and Josh and Tobi. I'm glad she accepts them, she's very mature for her age, and isn't like Simon.

Simon isn't here, I never see him really anymore, he never is in school, Kacey isn't in school cause he is being questioned by police. But I never see Simon in school anymore. The students that remain start to leave, us being the only people in the cafeteria now.

And then, and then there is me.

Just, there.

Just constantly thinking.

Thinking about Vik.

God I hope you're okay. God I hope you still remember, I beg this doesn't happen, I beg he doesn't leave me. I haven't told the guys on how soon they believe he is going to pass, I don't think they need to know, not yet. I don't think I could say them words again, I don't want to accept it. Accept that my only happiness and the only thing keeping me stable is going to leave me in a few days. How am I going to cope? Cope with Barry, with Brad! And I don't, I don't even know jerome, He, he helps me stay who I am. And, and I don't, I don't know what will happen to me when, when he go-

"It's all my fault!" I heard someone exclaim. I look up. Seeing Simon there, his hair knotted and messy, looks like some of it has been ripped out, he held something in his hand.

A knife.

"It's all my fucking fault!" I heard him say yet again, yet this time it was more coarse and raw. "What is?" I hear Po ask, Simon sobs loudly out, his face red and puffy, tears streaming down his cheeks as harsh sobs erupt from his mouth. He looked distraught.

"He, he, he doesn't remember me, at all!" Simon exclaimed and my eyes widened. He doesn't remember Simon.. at all? "Simon, put the knife down." I heard Josh say, Tobi instantly putting his hand on my back as he was sat next to me, Josh sat next to Tobi. "No! No don't talk to me." "Nothing is your fault Simon." Josh says. Standing up.

Simon put the knife to his kneck.

Everyone's hearts dropped.

"Don't." Simon breathed in heavily, shaking as the knife threatened his skin, Josh instantly put his hands up. "Simon, this, this isn't the right way to go about things." "And you care do you, I saw him yesterday, he's going to die in a few days because I pushed him to the edge, I made him fall." I felt my cheeks start to burn as everyone looked at me apart from Josh, before looking back at Simon. he visited him yesterday?

"Simon, please, please don't do this." I hear Po say, Simon looking over at Po, then looking down, shaking his head. "I fucking hate my life anyways, I, Ive caused so much destruction, so much pain, so much hurt. No, stop! JUST SHUT UP!" He suddenly screamed, putting his hands now up to his ears to try and mute her. He is so sad. So distraught.