Secrets |Sidemen FF|

66

Josh's POV,

We where sat in the hospitals eating area for visitors. Most of the people already gone, Ethan, Po, Sammie, Marie and Harry have left. It only being me, Tobi, Simon and JJ left, yet Barry was talking to the doctor still.

"I'm sorry about today josh." Simon whispered. I looked up at him. Tobi asleep with his head resting in his arms on the table. I looked up at him. His arm laid down and in front of him on the table, him laying on it and his eyes staring at his other hand which traced shapes into the table. "It's okay I guess." I whisper back, being cautious not to wake up Tobi.

"I always make everything about myself and I need to try and make myself better again. And I know that's going to be hard, but I think the first step is saying sorry." He says, still drawing shapes into the table. His eyes sparkling as he stared at his hand.

"Well, thank you I guess..." I say, looking down at my hands which were picking at one another, trying to distract myself. Me remembering back to me punching him, and thinking back it was so inconsiderate, and emotions where so heightened because of everything I reacted in a harsh way. When all he was doing was making sure I was okay.

And maybe I am still a bit hurt by the way he said that, and that things between us always end so negatively, yet for some reason we always end up in this limbo of not knowing what to do with one another. "Sorry for punching you." I whisper, he looked up at me, before back down at his hand, smirking lightly. "It's okay josh, obviously you're not in the best state at the moment." He says, noticing my hands picking at them. "You should stop that your hands are going red." He says, placing his hand on mine to stop it.

His hand lay perfectly on top of my hand, and the feeling of familiarity coursed through my broken veins, and my heart felt like it was in my throat as I didn't move it, I didn't want to move it. And he didn't move it either, we just stared at them, his hand just there.

He slowly interlocked his hand with mine, his hand still on top of mine, his hand squeezing mine gently as he smiled at me. I smiled back. Feeling the gentleness of his hand as he stroked me with his thumb. That familiarity was so distant yet so close now that it felt comforting. And I needed comfort.

"I'm sorry josh." He says and I sigh, feeling tears well up in my eyes. I unlocked our hands, wiping my face as I breathed in heavily. "Sorry Simon, just, it's not fair." I whisper, looking down at my boyfriend, the beautifulness of him, and how when sleeping he looked so peaceful and happy. Yet my veins still felt electric with Simons touch and emotion.

"I didn't mean for it to go like that." He says and I nod. But I think we both knew that there was a deeper meaning behind it. "I know." I say, smiling small at Simon before kissing Tobi's cheek. Tobi's eyes opening slowly as he looked up at me and smiled. "Are you okay?" I ask and he nodded. "Tired." He says, before moving his hand to interlock with the hand Simons just held. My cheeks blushing as instant guilt stuck me. Simon smiling down at Tobi and then me.

He nodded at me, before getting his phone. "It's 9pm, JJ should be out soon." Simon says to me and them looks down at Tobi. "You can finally get some good sleep then." Simon smiles, Tobi nodding. "Yeah, I need it." Tobi says, I smile down at him, kissing him quickly before hearing footsteps. Looking up and seeing JJ. "Hello everyone." From his voice, it instantly clicked that it was Barry, Barry folding his arms and his eyebrow raised.

"Hello Barry. How's JJ?" I ask and Barry closed his eyes, but shook his head. "I'm not sure, he isn't near the front, from the sounds of him talking to the doctors, I don't think he's doing to great." He says before looking over at me. "I'll go with you Barry." Tobi says and Barry's eyes widened. "Really?" He asked Tobi, Tobi smiling. "Yeah, I don't want you to be alone." Tobi says, looking back at me and smiling, I smiled small, but looked over at Simon, seeing him smirking at the both of us.