Secrets |Sidemen FF|

.Chapter 14.

Vikks POV.

I just nodded at JJs statement, I never thought I was good, if anything drawing is my escape, escape from my life that's filled with constant hunger and pain. Even if it is just for a small while.

"If only humans grew wings." I whisper before slowly grabbing my sketch book and placing it back in my bag, before they looked at anymore of my drawings. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and I sighed. Leaning back into JJ. "What would you do if you had wings though?" Josh asks and I shrug. "If fucking fly everywhere Fam." JJ exclaims and I laugh. "I'd most probably scare the shit out of people, like I'll jump off of things and at the very last second pull up." Josh says and I smile. "What bout you?" JJ asks, looking down at me, I just sighed.

"Fly away from here and never look back." I say and they just nod, but they wanted the truth. I would fly away, fly far away into the sky and never look back, how can I look back, there's nothing to look back at.

Apart from JJ I guess.

And the rest of them, Josh, Simon, Tobi, Harry, Ethan. They are all there for me, all staying by me, helping me with Kacey. I'm still struggling, but not as much as before. I missed when Kacey was nice to me, I missed when he would cuddle me and kiss me every chance he got and always looked after me. Now he just uses me, I guess he used me then as well, used me to make me trust him, so much that I consented but the next day he was gone, he had ran to school and told the whole school about me. And he still does now.

Gosh I wish I never felt the emotion love. Love fucks you up more than anything in the world. "Come on, let's go get some food yeah?" JJ says and I nod. I guess they had been talking whilst I was daydreaming. Josh only smiled at me and stood up, before giving me a hand, I took it and he hoisted me up, I smiled, wiping my eyes before JJ grabbed my hand and headed to the cafeteria.

We soon entered and the guys where all talking at one table, Sammie was also there along with Po and Marie. She's been hanging out with us more often, so have Marie and Po. They are nice girls. I smiled at them whilst walking over to them, they all greeted us and JJ sat down on one stool and Josh sat on the last one. I just looked around the hall and saw that every chair was taken up, really. "Just sit on JJs lap or something." Tobi says to me and I just chuckle. I felt JJ wrap his arms around me and pull me onto his lap, I instantly felt self-conscious as I worried that I was too heavy for him. Am I crushing him? I blushed, feeling bad. But all JJ did was just kiss my neck and listened to the conversation.

"I'm honestly so tired." Sammie yawns and I laugh. "You're always tired." Tobi says and she laughs. "Truthful words." She says and Tobi just smiles and wraps his arm around her, she just leant into him and closed her eyes. I couldn't imagine what pain she went through when she heard Tobi had tried committing suicide.  You can tell that she loves him so much. And to lose the one you love, I know how much that hurts, just, not on the scale that she had.

"Who wants to play footie tonight?" Simon asks and I shake my head. "I'm shit at footie." I tell him and he shrugs. "That doesn't matter." "It does Simon, I can't even control the ball." Ethan looked at me like I was special, which made me laugh. "This kid has issues." Ethan laughs and everyone laughs with him. "I'm down for playing." Sammie says and Po also nods. "Count me in." She says and Marie also nods. "I'll come as well." She says and all the girls smile at each other.

"I'll play." Harry says and I nod. "I'm not, sheerly because I can't be bothered to play today." Ethan says and Simon nods. "Josh?" Simon asks and Josh shakes his head. "I've got to sort shit out with someone." He says and I nod. "JJ?" Simon asks and I feel him shake his head. "Nah, Imma go sleep. I'm fucked." JJ says and I just smile.

These people really are amazing.

//End of school.//

I pack my things up from my last lesson, sighing loudly, I didn't want to go home, I wanted to run, run so far away. This day has been shit, even if the second half of lunch was good, Kacey caught up with me in tutor and started calling me names.. Fat, ugly, not pretty. "Where are you off too tonight then, with that stupid guy?" Kacey asks me, his arms wrapping around me. "Get off me please." I whisper, my voice small.