Secrets |Sidemen FF|

46

Josh's POV,

I walked to school, leaving that alleyway. I need to get away. Need to get away before I distract myself and scratch the itch that is coursing through my body. I'm going to scratch it. Pierce it and inject the painkiller.

I walked into the school gates, hearing the bell going off but faintly in the distance, I didn't know what lesson it was, if it was break. I opened my phone, seeing it was 10:40 so second lesson had just ended. I walked into school, seeing everyone looking at me, judging me.

I looked over at everyone, before seeing Kacey. He was staring at me, in a face of disgust. I glared at him. "Fucking do something then." I spat at him, stepping in front of him to scare him, he instantly jumped, making me fake laugh. "That's what I thought." I spoke before heading into the cafeteria. I saw JJ, Vik, Tobi, Ethan and Harry there.

I burst the cafeteria doors open before going over to them quickly. I sat down in the chair, feeling the itch getting worse. "I'm going to rip my skin apart." I say very seriously. Making everyone's eyes widen. "What do you mean." "I'm done, I can't do it anymore. Two weeks, two weeks." I say and JJs eyes widen. "Two weeks till what?" "Till my parents murderers come out, I ain't gunna cope." I say. I feel a hand lace into mine.

I look up and see Simon their, I instantly jolted my hand back and stared at it in disgust. Before looking back up and seeing it was actually Tobi. "Woah, Josh. Fuck, you're hallucinating." Tobi spoke and I shook my head, before planting my elbows on the table
and and putting my hands to the back of my head before scratching my head the whole way forward.

"Fucking hell." "Do you think being here is the best optio-" "if I go home I'll inject I know I will, Ive still got shit at home." I say and they instantly threw away that idea. "It's okay, don't think about it." Vik spoke and I nodded.

But how could you not think of it.

"I'm here." I hear his voice.
Tobi's

I smiled small, feeling him wrap his arm around my shoulder. "It's okay, trust me, I love you Josh." He whispers in my ear so only I can hear it, I nod. "If I see Simon I'm going to flip." I say suddenly. I see Tobi and Harry look at each other and I furrow my eyebrows. It was like as soon as I said his name they did that. "Why?" "Cause he's a shit stirrer" I say. Before going back to Tobi and Harry. "What's Simon done?" I ask and they both shake their heads. "Nothing, just the way you said that." "Yeah yeah." "It was just off putting." They say over the top of one another.

I stared at both of them, before shaking my head. "Josh, you gone this far, don't stop now brother." Ethan tells me and I nod, smiling small at him, grateful, even if our relationship is very love/ hate. "Josh, I'm trying to eat again, I mean, I'm eating fruit every day now, you can overcome it if I can overcome myself." Vik says small, his voice quiet but definitely loud enough for me to hear the emotion of his voice. The emotion of pure pain but almost, love, and want of me to get better.

I just nod, before looking over at Tobi.

Tobi smiled at me, before flickering his eyes to the cafeteria doors and then back at me quickly. "Wha-" "Josh. Come on, let's go." Tobi spoke, making me try and look at him. I looked over at the cafeteria doors and see Simon with someone I never expected.

"Kacey." I hear Viks voice shatter almost. "What's he doing with that?" Ethan asked, I saw JJs blood boil. "Stay as me, stay as JJ Barry I don't need help." I suddenly hear JJ almost chant to himself. I stared at what was happening in almost shock. They where laughing, and looking over at or table.

I look over at Vik, my main concern on him now. Like a distraction, being in this group was always a distraction on myself. He was staring at them, his face pale and scared.