Secrets |Sidemen FF|

34

Tobi's POV,

He sighed, before stumping his blunt out. "Plus sammie won't like me taking drugs." "Sammie Sammie Sammie do something you want to do." He says, I sighed, I only just got good with her again, if she finds out she would leave me, maybe not about cannabis, but anything else.

"You do cannabis, it'll be the best time of your life, than you should try pills, oh my god pills get you fucked." He said, getting excited. "I ain't had a pill in ages." He whispered, looking over at his chest of drawers. "No josh." "It'll be fun! Come on." He says, getting up and heading over to the drawers. My heart rate increasing. But Sammie.

He walked over and opened the drawer. "Is it like an anti depressant?" "Well not the ones you get, theses make you happy, not angry." He says. I nod, feeling that nervous pit in my stomach bubbling like a witches cauldron. "Do you want to do it?" Josh asked, I shrugged, actually unsure for once. "Would I die?" "No, unless it's a dodgy one, but this batch is okay." He says honestly. I nodded, he grabbed the small plastic bag, about five of them in there. All different colours.

"Do you want a punisher or?" He asked me. I shrugged once again." "Which is the tamest one." "Just a normal pill." He tells me. He sat on the bed, staring at me. I looked at the packet. Just don't tell Sammie tobi, you'll be fine, it won't harm you. "Tobi?" "Huh, urm yeah, Pill." "You don't have to do it." "It's an anti depressant, innit, not a drug." I said, more to myself than anything else, an excuse to build up my courage to take it.

Josh smiled at me and nodded, emptying out the packet on the bed before examining them, he finally grabbed one and placed it over to myself, and then grabbed another one, it being orange. "These Get you fucked if I remember correctly." He says, putting the rest of the pills back in the packet and sealing it.

He got up off the bed and put them back in the drawer. "I'm going to go get us water." He says, before leaving the room. Am I a really doing this? Just don't think about it Tobi, what's the worst that can happen, you want to die anyway, this might be your chance, if anything be happy.

But I don't want to leave Sammie.

"You ready?" Josh asks, entering the room with two glasses of water, handing one over to myself. "Yeah." I said slowly, trying to process what was happening. The one thing Sammie is against is drugs, and my mum, I promised them I never would.

Crossed fingers.

Yeah, I remember crossing my fingers.

I looked down at the pill and picked it up, the glass in my other hand, I looked at josh and smiled, someone excitedly but also for comfort. "You'll be fine." Josh says before picking his up. "Okay, 3, 2-"

I'm really doing this.

"1"

I copied Josh's actions, him placing it on his tongue, myself doing the same, the pill feeling familiar, like my anti depressants, it bubbling ever so slightly due to the contact of saliva, he then placed the glass to his lips and started to swallow the water, me following after. I felt the pill go down and quickly run down my oesophagus and landing in my stomach, it dissolving rapidly.

I saw josh start giggling, which made me giggle for no reason, I felt my happy hormone finally come through, and not be shaded by my depression and suddenly I saw why people do it. And how fucking good it makes you feel. I felt alive! That I wanted to be alive and not dead in a ditch somewhere.

I finally felt useful.

I felt my whole body abbreviate in temperature yet I still felt the exact same, in reality I was still the same, my mind was just tricking me. Josh said something but his voice wobbled and became incoherent. I laughed at that. I thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Which in turn made him laugh. And soon we where both laughing messes on his bed.