Secrets |Sidemen FF|

.Chapter 25.

Josh's POV. //break time//

I was in today, after telling the guys about my story, they, they all delicately squished me on my bed in a giant hug, and that set me off crying, because I genuinely now know, that they all care. That they all... Love me, love, something I haven't had for two years. And now I've got over 9 people loving me all at once, and it confuses me.

Why would they love a drug addict?

But the more I thought about them loving me, I started thinking, are they just saying that? Or maybe they only care a lot more now because I mentioned I've got money? Because the more I wrap my head around everything. The more I.. Don't believe, they'd care because I'm me. There's got to be something else.

And to be frank I don't want to find out what it is.

I close my locker and head over to the abandoned hallway, it being like the quickest way to the cafeteria. And no one goes down there, just, giving me space.

As I reached the hallway I started hearing tiny sniffling sounds, and crying, as the hallway is very closed off and secluded to the actual school, there's like a little pathway, and then there's the abandoned corridor, that's quite wide, but very long, and all painted blue, the colours of the old school, now the whole school is painted a cream colour.

As I reached the entrance I started hearing tiny sobs, me presuming its most probably Vik, I walked over quickly, I turned the corner and my eyes instantly widened.

I see Sammie look up at me and just smile, a fake smile. "Hey, woah woah woah are you okay?" I run over, kneeling in front of her, she just nods. "Yeah, I'm good, how are you?" "I'm good, but you aren't, what's happened?" I ask her and she just looks down. "Tobi... He started cutting himself again... This morning." She whispers, I just sigh before hugging her, her excepting the hug.

"How many did he do?" I ask and she lets out a shaky sigh. "Enough to make me shocked he didn't die." She whispers, I felt my heart sink, did he do that because of the other day? Or could he just not handle it anymore, it made my mind jump to Ethan, and his wrist, 'Emily'. The person I need too yet find out about. "Does Tobi know that you know?" I ask and she nods. "He lifted his hand up to answer a question in maths, and I saw a fresh cut just peaking out, I talked to him the end of 1st lesson and he showed me. I started crying, and I skipped 2nd lesson, just sat here, crying. Thinking. Does he think I hate him? I'm trying to make him happy, I know it's hard, to keep your mind stable enough to not do something that helps you cope, but, I just, he was getting better, did I blow his confidence away and make him think he should do that?" She asks, I instantly shake my head.

"No no, not at all, look, Tobi know you love him, very much, everyone relapses, he's just, relapsed, it's not your fault at all." I tell her and she nods. "I just hugged him when I found out, and kept whispering 'why?' But he just, didn't answer, just kept saying 'I'm Sorry.'" She tells me. I sigh. "Do you want me to get Tobi?" I ask her and she shrugs. "I just don't know anymore Josh. Every cut I saw just made me feel numb. Imagine someone you love, so much, harming themselves, and you constantly thinking its your fault. It makes you feel numb after a while." She says, I cringed at that, I didn't want to imagine it. At all.

I heard the bell go which made Sammie jump, before giggling slightly. "Thank you Josh." She says, I smile at her, before standing up, Sammie also standing up. "Come on, let's go class." "Does my makeup look okay?" She asks and I laugh. "It looks okay, just clean it up a bit and you'll be dandy." I tell her and she smiles.

"Thank you."

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JJs POV.
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I see Josh and Sammie come in through the hall doors, it looked like Sammie had been crying, I looked at her sympathetically, and then I looked at Josh and saw that he was motioning for us to not ask her any questions. But she was upset, and seems like she had been crying.

I look over at Tobi, seeing if he's going to do anything about it, he just looked down. Guilty, what's happened. "Tobi." I whisper, he looks up, tears where brimming his eyes. I see Sam go over and sit next to Po. Whilst Josh sat next to Tobi.

I looked at Vik and saw he was frowning. "Is she okay?" He asks and I shrug. I suddenly hear Josh talking to Tobi. And I motion Vik to be quiet, Tobi and Josh are just opposite us, so it was easy to hear there conversation.

"Why did you do it?" I hear faintly, coming from Josh. "Do what? I did nothing." Tobi whispers. "I know what you did." "Well what did I do?" "You cut yourself, Tobi. More than you've ever done before." He says, and Tobi instantly looked down. "I don't know what you're  on about." "Well why is Sammie in tears then." "She isn't." Tobi replys back, but he just looked over at her, and saw that Po was hugging her, Simon also now in the mix. Ethan was talking to Harry and Marie. I made Vik lean down do his back was against my chest before wrapping my arms around him. He was so small, dainty, vulnerable. Luckily though, we have all started to get him eating again, even if it's just a little amount, it's still a lot more than what he used to eat.

"Well, explain why I just had to calm her down for the last 15 minutes whilst she cried in my shoulder." Josh asks. That made me feel bad. She really does love him. And he knows she does. "Look... I did it because... Your story, it hit hard man." "Doesn't mean it should impact you in such a negative way and cause a chain reaction, Tobi. You have to be the one to overcome this, this addiction, because it's addiction, I know it is, just like drug abuse, or alcoholism, it's all an addiction, that you have to overcome. Sammie loves you so much, she's willing to do anything to help you, therapy, counselling, even putting you in a hospital, and not seeing you for ages, to get you better. Man, trust me. Just talk to her." Josh explains, I kiss the top of Viks head. I was willing to do anything to make my baby happy, just as much as Sammie. Even though they have been going out for 2-3 years. There love is obviously stronger, but I still love Vik, with all my heart.

And I'm willing to make sacrifices for his own good.

Just like Sammie is with Tobi.
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Another chapter for you guys, kinda messy and a filler, but allow me, I'm tired and wanna cup of tea and listen to some Skepta and just chill. I hope you guys enjoyed, if you did, comment, otherwise I'll talk to you all later.

(SideNote: if you have any suggestions such as one shots please DM my joint account with PoJayneBartaby with maybe an idea. The joint account is _SDMNLOVERS_ so yeah, Please Do That!)

Love you allXxX
Sammie=3