Write it Down so I Don't Forget

Hilarious story

Okay so Kane, Claire and I were walking to calculus and we had a test today so I'm looking at the answer key on my phone trying to study last minute. We start going down the stairs when I suddenly fall on my ass because I slipped on a pencil we all burst out laughing. Luckily not too many people were around to see. After we regain control of our laughter he asks me if I'm okay. Claire picks up the pencil that nearly killed me and I kept it as a souvenir. So we get to calculus still laughing and replaying the moment over and over laughing harder each time. Apparently Kane saw it and knew I was going to fall but didn't have enough time to tell me. In the moment I had no idea what hit me, one minute I'm walking down the stairs like a pro the next I feel something roll under my foot and then I'm one the ground. It's was freaking hilarious. So when we get to calculus we tell Erin and start the test. I keep giggling during the test and Kane laughs a bit too beside me. The teacher looks at us curiously and asks if everything is okay so Kane decides it's best that everyone know my somewhat embarrassing moment. A few smile but none burst out laughing like I do. The top of my finger hurt a bit but other than that I'm fine. Omg I can't stop smiling it was so funny.
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Kane got to lunch a bit late and I thought he was ditching us but really he only had to print something for English. We were all discussing math and the test when I bring up this funny video (that you should watch! It's called the history of Japan on YouTube) Kane grins and we start quoting it together. He puts it on so Claire and Erin can watch because they didn't listen to me when I told them to watch it in the grext. I leaned over the table to watch and I could tell Kane kept looking up at me. He was trying to be subtle but I could see him staining a bit in my peripherals. We talked about it all the way to fifth when we parted ways. Finally onto a topic not about boys. Okay so I have this best friend named Rachel, and we've been besties since 8th grade when she moved to my middle school. Lately I haven't been sitting with her at lunch and I feel like since last year we've fought, or had small skirmishes a lot. For example today we had a small disagreement about our Hogwarts house, I said I'm Hufflepuff and she said I'm Slytherin. I was like I took a quiz, not the potter more quiz and it told me I was Hufflepuff. That's what I based my answer off of and she was like no no you're Slytherin. Anyway we were debating about that and she is like I'm basing it off my personality and I'm like I am too. And like we an have different opinions and I'm loyal as hell, it annoys me that she thinks I'm not, like when have I ever not been loyal to her. I never tell anyone someone else's secret because it's not my story to tell, heck I don't tell others what someone had for freaking breakfast because I don't feel it's my place. I always support her in whatever she does and it hurts that she doesn't think I'm loyal because I didn't sit with her at lunch. I'm not trying to be mean and it's not that I don't want to sit with her but I've been so attached to her since 8th grade because of my social anxiety and I'm trying to become more independent and take the wheel of my own life rather than piggy backing off of her. Like I've finally made my own friends and I like hanging out with them. We still hang out in the mornings and during forensics but sometimes it's hard to be around her because I constantly compare me to her. It's not good but I do and sometimes I resent her even though I know I shouldn't. It's hard to be friends with someone when you feel inferior to them and when you introduce them to your friends they end up liking your best friend more. I keep my friend groups separate because I know she is smarter and funnier than I am. It's just my insecurities peaking out when I'm with her sometimes, they're like on overdrive. I like it better when it's just the two of us because I love hanging out with her and Bing her friend just not when other people are around, which sounds awful but it's the truth. I don't feel bad about myself then. It's selfish but that's how it works best for me. Idk.... Sometimes it's hard to be around her because I know people like her better.
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Okay done being depressed. Claire, Kane and Erin and I are going to see Edge of Seventeen tonight. I'm hoping to sit by him but we'll see. Last time we sat the farthest away as possible.... I have an idea of how we should sit depending on our interaction with each other. So from left to right it goes Kane, me, Claire, then Erin. Because Kane and I talk more than Claire and him and way more than Kane and Erin. Also Claire and Erin talk a lot. So yeah. That's how I hope for us to sit but I won't tell them that lol. I'm such a control freak.
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So it's the Friday before thanksgiving break and I'm so happy I don't have to go to school for a week! In food science today we had a free lab so we decided to make scones that were so good! It was just Kayla and I because Victoria was at a college visit and Zane was studying for calc. Now that I think about it I've never mentioned Zane before.... Well here's the gist of our relationship, we are in different social groups so we don't interact except in food science. But we have fun and he is fairly attractive. Then Victoria and I have been semi- friends since freshman year. We've talked each year since but never outside of school. We're not super close but confide in each other. Then there is Kayla, super nice and super cool. We met this year and were pretty good friends. The only reason is because she is so out going, we probably would have never talked if she hadn't imitated it at the beginning of the year. We're both huge book and musical nerds so we mesh well. And that's my food science group! Zane rarely does much to help our group I mainly cook but when I don't want to do something I make him do it because he is super easy to boss around. I feel kind of bad sometimes but then I realize if I don't boss him around he'd stand there doing absolutely nothing. I'm doing him a favor by bossing him around so he doesn't fail the class. Mrs. wales loves me, she called me her star student 👼🏻, despite my group and I making penis shaped pancakes and muffins. Yes we did it because we are so immature all together. today was really chill we watched movies and took some easy quizzes and a test. Oh I almost forgot! I didn't save one of the documents for my English project and ha to start over on one part. Thankfully I finished it before class. I almost had a heart attack though and I talked to my APUSH teacher from last year about it and she said she'd have one too. I love her she is so great.
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So back to the movie and boys. So I texted the group to make sure we were still going and he doesn't txt back at al and I'm a bit bummed, I loose my phone for a bit, it was in my purse, when I found it I had multiple notifications and his name was on my screen I got excited till I read the message, he is helping his mom cook and is probably going to stay in. So that's a bummer but at least I'm not so anxious now. I felt sick earlier thinking about it. One reason being I don't like to plan things hours before they happen I like plans and b because he was going and yeah he gives me butterflies. So I'm slightly less anxious
but also sad he isn't going.... Oh well I'll still have fun with Claire and Erin.
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My mom gave me some advice that I feel like I should share. So I was talking to her about how I'm frustrated that I like him and that if he does like me back he won't admit it and won't ask me out. She told me that he obviously likes my company and that should be enough. I don't need to be called a girlfriend. He likes my company and I should be okay with that because at least I have that. I need to be patient. In his text he said college and school was stressful enough and that he didn't want to complicate things with a relationship. I have to respect that. Maybe down the road but not right now. I'm going to continue to be his friend and until he wants a relationship or until I move on. Which I feel like will be soon. I need to stop worrying and just live because life is short and I don't have much longer to be a senior. When I'm done with this year hats it, that's the end I wouldn't be able to go back so that's what I'm going to do. I'm just going to go with the flow.
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So I'm at the movie theater a new one from our regular and they IDed us because we're going to see a rated R movie. Erin didn't get in because she doesn't have an ID but she is 18! Ugh Claire called her mom so she bought her ticket for her lol. I'll be honest I didn't tell my mom which movie we were going to see, my mom is pretty chill except with some things, such as movies and driving, that's about it. She doesn't let me see r rated movies without seeing it first or looking up the parent's guide and I have a limit on driving. The drive can't be longer than 15 min, which is fine cause everything I like to do is within that radius but it is kind of a bummer sometimes. I really don't mind the rules because I get that she wants to protect me. The thing I have a problem with is that my friends don't always understand that my mom is stricter and I can't do whatever I want all the time. I can't drive all over town partying and I can't always do what I want to. When I was younger something happened and ever since she wants to protect me, I completely understand I'm not going to argue. This is the first time I haven't told her exactly what I was doing. I don't like lying/ withholding the truth but I really want to see this movie, I relate to it on a personal level and I'm not going to wait until I get into college to watch it, which I am doing with so many other movie so wasn't able to watch.
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It was so good and super relatable. I cried a couple of times because it hit really close to home. It had its moments of seriousness but comedic relief soon followed and made a great movie. The issues were so relevant and perfectly summed up what being a teenager is about. A++