Write it Down so I Don't Forget

Talentshow

Finally it's Thursday!! I woke up at 3:20 and finished my poem for English and my study guide now I have an hour until I need to get up, I can go back to sleep or study for calculus... Ummmm which shall I choose? Study duh! 😂😭😭😭😭 So today Imma be out all day again. I won't get home until around 9... Fun stuff with lots of homework so this should be good. Last night I was thinking about just asking Kane if he wanted to hang out sometime like just the two of us. This is the situation I created in my head. I'd ask him then he would ask if it was a date and I'd say this long ass speech about not wanting to label it and explaining how it was casual just two friends hanging out. Lol cause we hang out together a little at a time. Never planned it always just happens. Today I get to meet his friends which should be exciting hope they like me and don't think I'm annoying. I'm going to try to be nice and not look like I Amat to murder everyone 😂. I'm going to try to look, as Kane would put it, "approachable" since I, apparently, am not, according to him. Which I'll be honest is the truth since I have resting Bitch face.... #sorrynotsorry 
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Hopefully today Rachel won't be as mad since I am going to the talent show for her (and for others, but mostly her since she asked originally). Seems like she still is... I asked Natalie yesterday but she didn't know so at least she isn't like slamming me to others which is nice.... But at the same time she told Claire who she isn't even that good of friends with... So idk maybe Natalie was trying to stay out of it. Idk though. So it's super freaking cold, cold for here anyway and I wore a dress with a leather jacket. The problem isn't that a small part of my legs are cold, no, it's that it's a T-shirt dress and is super loose! I didn't plan correctly. Oops.....
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I'm probably going to to have to get up hella early again tomorrow and go take pictures for different clubs and take a bunch of tests and turn in projects and Ughh!!! Balancing a life and school is hard, idk how people do it.
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Rachel seemed less mad she talked to me without an annoyed tone. However she seemed all buddy buddy with Claire. Like that's cool but why are you acting different towards me and being all good buds with Claire? They don't talk much but all of a sudden they do, it's weird, but idc it's whatever. Anyway I'm always early to everything so I'm waiting in the parking lot of this restaurant writing... None of my friends are here yet. I'm getting more nervous about meeting Kane's friends for some reason. I hope they like me 😂 I'm going to try to be friendly and less like the bitch I normally am.
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Lol earlier Victoria called me a hoe because I was wearing a dress when it's freezing outside, she was joking but still literally 7 inches of my leg is showing! She took a picture of my legs and was like "hoes don't take breaks" and put it on her snap story! 😂😂😂 people replied with the laughing emoji several times lol. My friends are so weird.
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So I guess we're going to eat then go back to school and watch everyone preform which will be fun, we were originally going to go to subway but then Claire wanted Chipotle instead. I ate at my Grandpa's so I'm not gonna eat I'll just watch them. Kane is supposed to meet us but I don't think that's happening since he isn't replying, I guess he met up with his other friends and are carpooling I guess? Idk but I've gotten multiple compliments o how I liked pretty today so that's a plus!  I sound so conceited.....  Oh! My English teacher, aka my favorite teacher this year, gave us a speech about how we're worth more than our grades and our GPA doesn't define us. I think we really need to hear that because my school is so competitive and it's awful. Ugh it's freaking 5:30 and we wanted to get to school early so we could wait in line to get tickets! It starts at 6:30 and it takes us at least 15 min to get there but there is also a ton of traffic right now.... I hate being late and rushing, but all my friends don't care for being on time. Idek why I came since I'm noting eating... I wasted gas for basically nothing.... Uhhhh
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Okay so umm the talent show.... First off I said hi to Rachel and she completely blew me off and uh second Kane didn't sit by us and I only met Zack not Alex.... Alex is supposedly the attractive one I only saw him from a distance. But the reason I didn't get to meet them was cause Claire kept avoiding the situation I was like let's go over there and talk to them meet them but noooooo. Idk cause when we sat down she was so salty that he didn't sit near us and I'm like you're the one who didn't go and introduce yourself....  All the performances were great my friend Celia sung and so did my other friend Courtney. They did great, I won a mug so yeah 😂😂 I didn't pick it up though... Ohhh and fun fact Kane and I were wiring across the room from one another and I kept looking at him because uhh yeah why not! And at one point we made eye contact during these two girls singing a love song! Ayeeee and Zack kept looking in our direction not sure why. When my name got called when I won Kane like whooped and clapped 😂. A lot of the songs were romance songs and I was like are you kidding me! And I kept looking in his direction fawning over him like an idiot! 😭😭😭  Ugh the night didn't go at all how I had imagined... I thought the four of us were going to chill at subway eating and laughing then we were all going to head back to school and meet up with Kane's friends meet them laugh and have a grand time then watch the performances. And after it was over Kane and I would walk to our cars that just so happen to be parked near each other and he'd ask me out after pulling me in for a kiss. Unfortunately this isn't a movie and I'm not his ideal girl.... Ughhh I wish he'd just ask me out if he was going to!!! Grrrr I want a boyfriend and more important I want him to be my boyfriend!!! Back tracking a bit. So when I met Zack I had just put all my stuff in Claire's pocket because I only had really tiny ones that don't do me any good but then he comes up to us and he introduces us all and we say hi. Then Claire is like "I can't hold all of this" and Kane is like I have big pockets and so she hands him all my stuff but he looks at it like "this is too much...." So he ends up dropping my keys and he kicks them around a bit the picks them up hands me my phone and keys and attempts to throw my wallet in the air but it lands right in front of me. He is such a dork. When I got there he was already there and we kept making eye contact when I was trying to avoid his gaze.... We saw each other then he like nudges his friend and points to us three. Ugh idk I think he could like me but then again I'm so unlikable so he probably likes Claire..... But man I want him to like me!! Or someone to like me that I would date! The only guys that have ever liked me were creepy af and stalkerish! 😷😷😷 this one guy last year told his friend that he had a wet dream about me and his friend told me like ewwww no stop! I don't need to know that! 😷😷😷 I wish I knew when someone liked me. Props never gonna happen, I'm going to die alone as a spinster.