Write it Down so I Don't Forget

Finals day one

So I have my calc final today.... Wish me luck! And hope Kane asks me out! So while I was doing my makeup an eyelash fell and I wished Kane would ask me out.... Not that I would do well on my finals... Priorities Elizabeth.... Priorities. Smh...
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A big problem I have with Kane is that he is super flirty without meaning to be or doing it on purpose it just happens... So I can never tell if he is flirting on purpose or if it's just him being him. He is a Libra ya know... I'm not flirty unless I like someone so you can tell when I like someone it's pretty damn obvious, however Kane is also completely oblivious... He is an idiot, but a smart idiot, sometimes, okay like half the time, no more like twenty-five percent of the time.
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Zane just walked in and it reminded me of my problem with him. lol I've got problems with everyone... Anyway we don't talk outside of food science period. We barely acknowledge each other except when we have to work together.... But he is nice I'll give him that and attractive.
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I didn't cover my bump with concealer because I didn't see the need to buy now in better lighting I can see its ver bruised, thank goodness my hair covers it, it's all green and yellow and ugly. Gotta keep it covered!
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Okay so the other day Kane brought up Lin Manuel Miranda like I said in another part. He said he was friends with the creators of this pod cast that he loves, so I looked it up to find out what his favorite podcast was and omg it's so freaking hilarious! These guys are great. (It's called My brother, my brother and me). Anyway I'm debating weather or not to being it up or joy because he might realize I looked it up be user of him and then I'll look creepy... So I won't but I'm enjoying it immensely.
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So I was walking to the library for lunch and today I realize it's closed, most likely because they don't want students in there for an hour and a half for testing. Claire suggests we go to our forensics class, which I knew Rachel was planning to go to. So I was cursing everything because no she ain't talking to me and it would be awk with both friend groups in there. However it wasn't bad, we stayed in our own bubbles. I mean it was sad because they didn't even really acknowledge me but it's whatever... We ended up trying to write each of our names upside down. We're so dumb sometimes, lol.
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So I've got a lot to say now. After school I went to my see my G-pa and see if I had won the door decorating competition. Last week I asked the director when the judging would be, she told me December 16th aka today. Today I asked her what time and she was like "sometime next Wednesday"...... What the hail. Then my mom called me and was like "why aren't you driving!?" And I was like I don't have to be there until 5 that's what Diana said. But apparently I had to be there by 4:45. So I had to leave immediately to get to the amusement park on time. The park is a park for everyone, is has specialized things for handicap and disabled people, I've been volunteering there since my freshman year,  I work with the park and the school in cola oration with the park owned by the same man. Anyway it's really cool and amazing and I absolutely love it there. Today I was supposed to help sell items the students made to raise money for their spring trip. Not many people were there because it was misting and cold out so I started thinking. Mostly Kane, I came to the conclusion that nothing is going to happen with us or it would have by now. He knows I like him and he is looking for a relationship but he hasn't pursued me so I'm going to move on. Plus I remembered this super attractive guy that works at the school! 😍 he is older, but I don't think too much older, like 23 tops. Anyway he is nice and works well with the students which is super attractive. Anywho saw him tonight briefly, I forgot his name though... I've met him only once before you can't blame me for forgetting his name! Okay so back to Kane, we're friends and I know he doesn't want to ruin our friendship already and that's another reason I've got to let it go. I'm not really even a consideration for a girlfriend for him, we're friends that flirt occasionally but that's it. I'm a strong believer in everything happens for a reason as well as things don't happen for a reason too. He is obviously not meant to be in my life that way. He is a great friend and all but that's all, nothing more. So I'm officially moving on! (Honestly this attitude will last until I see him again but whatever I'll try it out...) baby steps though, he is still going to make countless appearances in my story don't worry. And now back to the attractive guy who I can't remember his name... Okay so on the academy's first day of school I helped out the entire day. From start to finish. I genuinely love being there. I helped them hung out with them all day, eeventually I met this guy who is new to teaching and we say hi and stuff and help the students together. Halfway through the day they have PE with their new coach we both join them in a game or roll dodgeball. (Dodgeball without the throwing, only rolling) we have a blast and he and I have a duel type thing between the two of us where we try to get each other out it was cute I'll admit so yeah. I've always thought he was cute and really nice, I forgot about him until today when I saw him again. We didn't say hi because he was busy and when I got to the party he left. Oh well, I'll see him again eventually I'm there a lot.
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Do on to a topic not about guys! I adore the hell out of the kids there, omfg I can't even explain it. I always have a blast with them. This past summer I volunteered every week on Wednesday with the girls at the academy. I got to know them and loved every minute, we did lid of fun activities like shopping and swimming. They're so fun and adorable. Towards the end of the summer I started selling popcorn at the park with them and it's time met some of the boys. They were just as sweet and fun. Like I talked about earlier I helped them on the first day of school. I went to each class with them, ate lunch, played games all that fun stuff and have been meaning to go back soon. It hasn't happened yet because this year has been extremely busy. Next semester though, I'm definitely going to skip school to hang out with them. After hanging out with them u always second guess my choice of going into foresight science, they make me want to become a special education teacher and work at the academy. Last year I helped with the fashion show and the director of the school jokingly offered me a job but she was like "oh no you're going to go off to college and get a great job" I felt so humbled. I want to work there actually I think I would have the best time there. I've worked with special needs individuals since middle school, but not with the organizations at my school, only outside. I regret that though I wish I had gotten involved at my school. I did a bit being in ASL. But thats it. I think I'm going to start off in forensics then move to special education if I don't like forensics as much as I think I will. Tonight was the school's Christmas party and they had a DJ and a photo booth. I danced with all of them and made it a real party. I cheered them on as they break danced it was so cute. I took pictures with them and just loved it. It was fun. I belted out songs with them and danced like no one was watching because they make me feel so much more confident. They don't give a shit about who is around, they will dance till the cows come home and will sing as loud as they can, they're so happy and free. I love their energy it's amazing how they could care less about other people's view of them. I need that kind of energy in my life. They're all so wonderful. Oh and I'm so happy because they remember me! Not exactly who I am but they know we've hung out before! Also this one boy who is adorable beyond belief gave me a high five and a fist bump! The importance of that is in where he got it from, not directly but he got it from me! I just know it. So this one girl, she is one of my favorites got it from me over the summer. I used to high five then dust bump her every time I saw her and she picked it up from me and passed it on. It's one thing to do a high five but to do both and high five and a dust bump in a row! It's me I swear it is! It makes me so happy that I've left a legacy. 😂💕 I love them all though, they're so amazing. Oh! And one of the girl mother asked me to tutor her this summer! I'm so up for that! Let's do this!!!! I'm excited and one of these days I'm going to skip school regardless of what I'm doing that day and going to volunteer with the academy. I might just end up going to the college in my hometown and working at the academy, I love it there so much.