Write it Down so I Don't Forget

Beliefs and rants

So tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I get to eat a bunch and not be judged yay!!! Anyway this next part maybe offensive toward people who are very religious, I'm not trying to be but it may happen. So I'm agnostic, which basically means that I don't believe in God, but I can't prove he isn't real. I respect everyone's religion, no matter what because you have your beliefs and I have mine. Okay so yesterday while shopping I found this cup that said "Life is too blessed to be stressed." And my initial thought was "then how do we know what stress is if our lives are so blessed we aren't stressed?" Newsflash, life is hella stressful. And it's okay to be stressed because you know what your feelings and values and everything else is valid. You have the right to feel overwhelmed at times it's okay to feel stressed and like life isn't fair sometimes. If there is a god why does he make things so difficult, why do babies get cancer? Why do bullies exist? Why are people so damn cruel? Where is God when people are literally making a life or death decision? Don't tell me it's all apart of "god's plan". What does that even mean? Why can't some people just be happy? He should allow people, all people, everyone to be happy. Yet that doesn't happen. If he loves everyone why are there hate crimes against the LGBTQ+ community with the justification of religion. Why are their crimes period? Why do people kill others? Why is genocide in existence? If God loves everyone why does the book he supposedly wrote call gay people abnormal? If you can answer all those questions with good answers maybe I'll believe in a God that allows awful things to happen to some of the best people.
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Maybe offensive still!!!
I feel like some people can be confused about what my beliefs are because honestly they are all jumbled up and I can't really put a name one them. For example I believe that things happen for a reason, but I don't believe that God had anything to do with it. I think when we make decisions the one we end up making is always the right one because you know deep down what is right. I don't regret things, or at least I try no to. I think when things happen they were meant to be, I think your on a path, but that path changes with every decision and every thought toward the perfect end result for yourself, I believe you are the only person who has control over your path. The people you let into your life merely serve to pint you in the direction but you do everything that makes it perfect. My ideas on suicide are very controversial because I agree with it. It's sad of course and I don't want people to end their life because life is so precious but I do think that when someone commits suicide it was the best choice for them, maybe not their family and friends, but for them it was. That was their decision and I respect that. I'm not saying that that I wouldn't talk someone out of it because it is devastating and scary but the end result was meant to happen. I strongly believe is choice, because it's that person's life and their decision, they have that right to decide. No one gets to decide for them. I feel the same about abortion and assisted suicide.
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End of offense!
Sorry sometimes I just start talking about thing I'm really passionate about and I can't stop. I'm a passionate and very outspoken person, sometimes it can be very good and other times not so much... Oops, but I'm not apologizing for my beliefs.
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The nagging continues today, hurray..... Or hurry out of this damn house before she can continue. I love my mom I do, but sometimes ugh I just can't be around her.
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Got my hair cut! Not as short as I had planned originally, but it's still pretty short. I like it it's really cute. I love being out in a semi- crowded area and everyone's phone goes off in sync because of an amber alert. I mean Amber alerts are bad but it's kind of funny when you hear a bunch of phones go off at once.
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I played with my neighbor's niece she is adorable. She has a slightly older brother who is adorable as well, they were showing me around the woods behind my house. I acted as if I'd never been back there even though it's where I spent most of my days when I was around their age. I played with her for a while then I went to rent a movie. While I'm looking for one a guy from my school arrives, he's in my English class and has a n attractive brother I must say, lol. No surprise cause he is pretty cute too. I wear all my school shirts to sleep so I happen to be wearing one then. It's weird seeing people outside of school especially since I didn't know he lived close to me,I'm assuming anyway since there are red boxes everywhere and he happened to go to the one right outside my neighborhood. I try to avoid people from school like the plague, I duck or look away, sometimes I'll even go as far as leaving just so they don't see me. I'm not sure why it's not like they'll strike up a conversation, I'm just awkward as hell and run away from social situations. When his car pulled up I liked back and saw what I thought was a guy that looked fairly young and I was like Ohhh this is your chance Elizabeth! Get yourself a guy's number! But then I looked over at them and was like crap crap crap his brother goes to my school! No no no no. Even if the guy wasn't there I probably would have just stood there awkwardly trying to make it look as if I was either texting someone or looking really hard for a movie, which is did. I clicked on different movies to stand there longer for some unknown reason. 🙄 I'm so dumb.