Write it Down so I Don't Forget

Thursday (Thanksgiving)

So today is Thanksgiving and I didn't write much except for right now, 10 pm. It wasn't the worst Thanksgiving but it's also wasn't the best one that I'll remember for years to come. It was average. We had some people over, none that were actual family members. Just family friends which is fine and all. We used to have a lot of people over for thanksgiving, but last year my mom and aunt had a bit of a falling out. I caught her son, my cousin smoking pot, he is younger than me btw, 16, and she replied by accusing my brother of dealing pot. Even if that is the case, which it isn't, how about you be a parent and deal with it. Make him stop or punish him, he's an idiot and idiots and pot don't mix well. Anywho so yeah thanksgiving is less fun without them. This was the first year they weren't at our house for thanksgiving. Right before last thanksgiving was when they had the falling out, my mom had enough of her sister not parenting and being a brat so we went to my uncle's house. That was fun because that's my favorite part of my family. My cousin is about 18 years older but were a lot alike and she has kids that I just adore. Anyway I'm a little upset because my brother said he was going home tomorrow but he just left. We're really close and I don't see him as often as I'd like to. He only lives 45ish minutes away but I still don't see him much. He's the best big brother, he is the perfect combination of protective brother and friend. We were going to go get the last touch for my mom's birthday present but now I have to go by myself and I'm going to be super bored tomorrow.... I sound needy and like I can never be bored but honestly being bored reminds me too much of the place I was in before that I'd like to not go back to. I was lonely and depressed, I spent all my time at my house and never did anything a normal teenager did. It was a bad place that i'd hate to go back to. Last year at the end of the school year I made a list of my goals and overall dreams that I'd like to fulfill in life. They were simple and achievable. The gist of my goals was to live in the moment and be arena her because it wouldn't last long and my dream was mainly to be happy. I've met some of my goals but I'm still working on some and I've gotten a taste of happiness since writing my dreams down. I don't want to go back to the place I was a few months ago. I've tried really hard to be where I am today, it sounds sappy and overly dramatic but honestly I've done a lot of things I wouldn't think of doing and I've worked hard to get out of that lonely hole of sadness that at one point I let consume me. I'm done with that. I want to be happy and I'm working for it. I got rid of the negativity in my life and am trying to look at the good things in people and in life. It's hard but I'm trying and that's all I can do. I'm determined to be happy at the end of the day and I hope to help others do that as well.