Can't Forget

Chapter 36

JJ opened her mouth then closed it and opened it again but nothing was coming out as she looked at BG in shock. It was like this for several minutes and BG finally said," I know that me saying that is probably a shock to you JJ just think about it. You have time I don't have to have an answer tonight baby. I just wanted you to know since we were laying things out on the table with the UGA job., okay?"
JJ just nodded still speechless not knowing what to say because she didn't know how she felt, that just threw another decision for her to have to make. She sat holding BG's hand and just was speechless. He asked her to move to Georgia and move in with him!!!!! She's freaking out needs to talk to someone but doesn't really know who she can talk to. She wishes so bad that her mom was still alive, she needs her right now so much. She knows that she loves him but she's scared , scared because he just left Amber and afraid he's not really serious and afraid he is all at the same time. She loves BG with her whole heart and she wants to say yes to him but she's afraid to.
She looks at BG and said," Why do you want me to move in with you?"
"Baby girl I love you I want to be with you, all the damn time. I wanted you to know that so if that was part of what was going through your mind about the UGA offer I could put it to rest. I know we said we would go slow but hell JJ I lost 5 years with you and I'm trying to make up for that time. I said if I got you back in my life I would never let you doubt what you mean to me or where we stood. I know you have a lot to process and think about. You can ask me anything anytime. I just had to tell you JJ I want you, I want us and I will do whatever it takes to make it work. This isn't me trying to get my way, this is me telling you I want it all with you, marriage, babies and the growing old together and that I am here just waiting until you are ready."
They pull up to his house and JJ gets out and grabs her bag. BG knows she has to process everything he told her so he backs off and drops it. He said," You know tomorrow is Sunday and what that means."
JJ smiled," Its church and lunch at Momma's"
"Some things around here never change and that is one of them babygirl" BG said.
"Sometimes that is exactly what we need." JJ said.
They head up to bed and he pulls her close and tells her to sleep, he's not going anywhere.

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BG and JJ walk into church and Momma just smiles and hugs JJ as she sits down, whispering in her ear that they can talk at lunch. JJ just nods her head. JJ sits in church and listens to the preacher and how he is talking about decisions we make and how sometimes we make decisions out of fear, because we are afraid to trust God with the unknown. When we sometimes need to take a step of faith and accept the blessings that God wants to give us if we would just trust.
After church they talked to some of their friends and made plans to see them later in the week. As they head to Momma's JJ tells BG,"I need to go to visit Momma and daddy after lunch." BG asked," you want me to go with you or you just want to take my truck while I stay at Momma's?"
" I need to go alone if you don't mind." She replies.
"Sounds like a plan baby" he tells her.
Momma asked,"How long are you staying for JJ?"
"Well I am here till Sunday, then I have to get back to Alabama and my girls, but if BG has his way I will be permanently moving back in June when the school year is over." JJ replies.
Momma looked at JJ and grabbed her hand and she said," I don't see no ring on this hand so you better tell that boy of mine if he wants you to move back permanently that he needs to man up better yet I will tell him. I taught him better than that."
JJ laughs and said," No momma you will not tell Brantley that because if he ever decides to ask me it has to be because he wants me to be his wife not because someone has told him that is what he needs to do. I love you and I know that you mean well but this has to be something he wants all on his own."
Momma looked at JJ and said," you know he loves you so what is it?"
"Momma I love him and yes he told me last night he wants it all marriage, babies and all that with me but I have decisions to make and to be honest I'm scared cause he just left Amber and I need to be sure that he is gonna stick with me and not go running back to her. That is my biggest fear I mean he loved her was gonna marry her and I'm not sure that he has really dealt with that. He has commitment issues always have, I know that better than anyone cause I was there for all of it growing up. He used me more than once to get rid of a girl and I need to know without a doubt that this is real, not him using me to get rid of Amber. So just let it be, let us work this out in our own time okay."
BG was standing outside the door and he heard what JJ said, he knows he has to do this right and has to prove to her that he's gonna stick around. He has always had commitment issues but honestly it wasn't he was afraid of commitment he just always knew in the back of his mind that it wasn't the right one , the one who always had his heart since she was 10 years old. He would prove to her he was serious.

After lunch JJ took the truck and went to her parents grave. She sat down and started talking to her mom and dad filling them in on all that she was doing and how she loved BG and he loved her but she was scared and needed her to tell her what to do. How was she supposed to navigate without her help? JJ found herself crying and not knowing and then she heard the words.."you know baby follow your heart, trust what you know to be true, look inside you and BG and you will find your answer."
JJ feels the touch on her face and she knows her mom just gave her what she needed to do.
JJ gets up kisses the headstone and tells her mom thank you and I love you. She heads to BGs truck and gets in knowing what had to be done.