Drabbles and Containment by A Forum User

Drabble Eighty-One - The Goatina Chronicles Part 4

#81

~Sang~

I shut my eyes tight and hoped to all things good that the sound I was hearing wasn't what I thoughts it was.

It was.

"Silas, you have a problem. A serious, serious problem," I told him. First Miss Goatina and now...A llama. A llama wearing a hat.

He held its leash with one hand and rubbed its neck with the other.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?"

"He's...He's a llama."

"A sexy llama," he corrected. My eye twitched.

"A sexy llama? Is that even possible? I mean, a goat, I'm fine with it. A pig, I'm fine with it. Even the Izzy the dress-wearing Iguana, I'm good. But a llama?! Llamas spit, Silas. They spit."

He frowned at me and the llama seemed to glare with him. Great. Fan-bloody-tastic. An aggressive llama.

"His name is Sir Llamalot, Sang."

"Okay. Sir Llamalot will spit. And why the hell did you get a llama?!"

"He was the last one at the farm," Si said cheerfully, "isn't he great?"

I threw my book on the floor, and then regretted throwing the book on the floor because it was a brand new book. Silas tutted.

"That was uncalled for. So much anger."

"I'll be taking my freaking anger out on you, you...Llama-lover!"

"But he's not just any llama, my dearest Aggele."

"Yeah, I know. He's a sexy llama called Sir Llamalot," I sighed, and rubbed my temples. Miss Goatina bleated behind me. Bleated her 'I'm-eating-something-precious-to-you' bleat. A quick glance behind me said she was eating my favorite hoodie. What did she have against my clothes?

"Not just that, Sang. He's Miss Goatina's new husband!"

Oh dear god. Was he serious?

"Her...Husband?"

"Yes!"

"Her...Husband?"

"I know, it's great. Now they can have children!"

The horrific image of a hybrid goat-llama sprung up in my mind.

"I was thinking we could call them Lloats."

I stayed silent.

"Aggele? Sang? Are you listening?"

I gritted my teeth and looked at him.

"They are not having Lloats, Si. They are not."

"You can't stop them."

"I'll neuter."

He smirked at me. "I won't let you neuter him."

"No, Silas, I'll neuter you. Now get that Llama out of my house. "

And Sir Llamalot was never seen again.