Drabbles and Containment by A Forum User

Drabble 35 - Can Never Have Too Much Bacon

#35

~Sang~

Luke grinned at me. I looked from him, to the twenty packs of bacon set out on the table expectantly.

"Look!" He announced, "BACON!" I raised an eyebrow.

"Observant, Luke. I'm proud." He gave me an exasperated look.

"Stop being sarcastic. Cook bacon."

"I'm supposed to cook twenty packs of bacon. What for?" He shrugged and smiled.

"Because bacon."

"Your argument is invalid."

"Your argument didn't have the work 'bacon' in it. Therefore, it is more invalid." I collapsed onto the kitchen chair, holding my head.

"Luke, twenty packs of bacon!"

"See," he said, "now you're getting in the spirit! BACON!" I stared at him.

"You know, one could write a poem about bacon. It's so inspiring."

"It's a part of a pig."

"I've written a song about bacon."

"When?"

"Just now. Do you want to listen?"

"No."

"Good, everyone wants to hear about bacon.

Bacon, o bacon,

You're so great I'm practically shaking,

From anticipation,

Of eating you.

I'd swap my left shoe,

Just to get a piece of you,

Because very few,

Ever cook me bacon."

He finished with jazz-hands and a little flourish. The ridiculous thing was, it actually sounded quite good. He had a nice singing voice.

"North cooks you bacon all the time," I pointed out. He frowned.

"Yeah, but he does it in that stingy way with barely any fat or anything."

"So, to make up for North's 'stingy bacon' you want me to cook you twenty packets."

"YES! YOU FINALLY GET IT!" He shouted, smiling at me like he'd won a prize.

"You have to help, though." Luke groaned.

"Do I have to?"

"You're the one that bought twenty packets of bacon."

"I...You..." He grunted, "I have no comeback."

3 hours later, the table was littered with plain bacon, bacon with eggs, sausages wrapped in bacon, bacon wrapped in bacon, bacon. Bacon. Bacon.

Luke looked on proudly, hands on hips.

"I love bacon," he stated.

"You don't say."

The door opened and Sean walked in, licking his lips at the scent before looking at our horrific bacon-explosion. His eyebrow arched.

"Pookie, when I told you to eat more, I didn't mean quite like this..."

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