Drowning in you

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Sad josh stuff...
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Josh had a whole new appreciation of women. Most of the women he knew wore eyeliner, and he was learning it was a bitch to wash off. He sighed as he saw black pigment trace long uneven lines down the sides of his face. Tyler had said it looked good. Tyler. Josh stared at his reflection in the shiny mirror. He never had liked his face, he hated it. Hated the way his nose was large and crooked, the way his eyes scrunched when he laughed, how they were boringly brown. Not that he had anything against brown. Tyler's eyes were brown. Creamy and warm, flecked with gold like sunlight over water. So welcoming and kind. His heart throbbed painfully in his chest. Tyler again, it seemed like he was the only thing in his mind now. The overpowering feeling of guilt twisted in his stomach. He knew he hadn't done anything wrong, hadn't touched Tyler, hadn't shown anything other than friendship, though this killed him. Then finally, josh let himself think what he knew had been in his head all along. He had feelings for Tyler. Tyler was an angel from above, tossed from the clouds, meant for a world far more perfect than the one josh lived in, he was to pure and good. Tyler was everything josh could ever think of because he was everything. Josh growled in frustration. He couldn't keep thinking these things, it was so disgusting to think of Tyler in that way, he was married. He was pathetic, unworthy of Tyler.He sunk to the tiled floor of the small bathroom, dragging his hands through is thin yellow hair in desperation. He felt a tear slip out of his scrunched eyes. What a crybaby, he had nothing to cry about. Frustrated by his emotion he clawed his fingernails across the whiteness of his thighs, leaving long read scratches past Tyler's name he had tattooed on josh.
"Josh? Are you in there?" That was Tyler's voice. He groaned heaving himself up from the floor using the sink for support, four of the tornado of emotions into a mental box, and shoving it into a far corner of his mind.
"Yeah Ty I'm just washing my hands" he lied, turning on the sink. He splashed cold water on his face, trying to wash away the blotchiness that came with the few tears he'd let slip out. He slowly opened the door to find Tyler smiling. He smiled back, stretching the corners of his mouth up forcefully.
"You're eyes are red." Observed Tyler in a mildly concerned tone.
"I.. uh... I'm just tired Ty, I'll see you in the morning." Josh muttered, brushing past Tyler and through the door to the bunk room.