Drowning in you

•twentytwo•

Tyler woke up with the arm rest of the the wooden park bench digging sharply into his curled back.
Tyler sat up, stretching his arms, and straightening his back. It was a beautiful morning. The air was packed full of the smell of fresh grass and the sound of birdsong. Tyler was very confused, why was he here? Then he remembered, and the reality of his nightmarish life hit him, and he crumpled, bringing his knees up to his chest, rubbing his eyes with his fists, like a small child who didn't believe what their eyes saw.
What the hell was he going to. He was in the middle of a city that held memories of Jenna at every turn and corner. He couldn't stay here. He needed to leave, but how? His mind was numb and foggy and it was hard to think let alone make choices. What time was it? He fumbled around in the pockets of his Damp jeans, finally finding his phone. It was 5:32 am. Below the bold display of the time he saw four text messages from josh.

Jish: How did Jenna react?
Jish: how did the plan work out?
Jish: Tyler?
Jish: I won't bug you...

Tyler sighed. Sweet josh who cared more than anyone. He had once thought that the person that mattered most was Jenna, but now he knew that certainly wasn't true. He felt a swell of nausea in his core as freeze framed memories of Jenna making love to another man filled his mind.
He had to get back to josh. That was the only coherent thing in his brain. Needed to feel those arms around his body. Those arms that had held him in sadness and joy. Those arms that had hugged him on the day Jenna accepted his proposal. He needed someone, needed anyone, preferably josh.
He called a taxi, then sat in ridged silence, his back stiff and ramrod straight until the startlingly yellow vehicle pulled up beside him.

He slipped into silence in the back of the cab, letting his thoughts control him. Eventually ( Tyler seemed to have lost all concept of time) the cheerful taxi driver told him to " have a nice day young man!" And he stretched his mouth into a smile which felt so wrong on his face.
The airport was full of so many bustling people, each rushing to their destination that seemed so urgently important. But really it was just another stop on the highway of life that keeps on going, until it ends with a crash. Tyler didn't understand how they could have so much energy. Every step was a struggle for him as he made his way up to the front desk.
" I need a ticket to Anaheim." He didn't say please, and when the peppy blond man handed the ticket to him he barely made eye contact, not bothering with such wasteful words such as thank you when every syllable took effort.
He found his gate, and sunk into one of the small leather seats to wait. He sent a text to josh.

Tyler: pick me up at the airport in four hours.

After twenty agonizing minutes he slouched his way onto the plane and collapsed in his seat, resting his head against the small oval window that looked out on the runway. Sleep took him into its paralyzing grip, and the four hour flight drifted by. His dreams were restless, they were of Jenna. Jenna kissing faceless men who were taller and stronger and more caring than Tyler would ever be.
The plane touched down in California, and Tyler awoke.
While they waited on the runway, Tyler sent a text to josh

Tyler: just touched down.

Finally the seatbelt sign was turned off. Tyler walked off the plane in a trance. He knew he was in shock, at least that's what he thought. That would certainly explain why he could barley form coherent thoughts and his limbs felt numb. He stumbled into the gate, and caught sight of highlighter hair and an addictive smile.
"Tyler!" Josh jogged over to him. Then his smile slowly sagged and disappeared as he saw the broken look in Tyler's normally beautiful eyes.
"Ty what's wrong?" He asked, his voice deep and soft. He never got an answer. Tyler closed the distance between them and buried his his head into Josh's warm chest. Tyler could smell josh. The faded scent of sweat told him that he hadn't showered since yesterday's show. Josh smelled like old times in the van, and that smell was all it took for Tyler to release all of his emotions. The dam behind his brown eyes broke and he cried.
Josh looked down, his heart filled with horror as the man he loved cried into him. Sobbing huge broken sobs into josh, his arms holding him as if he was the only real thing he knew.