Drowning in you

•eighteen•

Valentine's Day found Tyler and josh sitting back stage waiting for their show to start. Nothing was different, it seemed like any other show day. But when they walked into the gleaming stage lights the two men knew that this show would be amazing. The fans cheered extra loud, and Tyler and josh both noticed the couples in the crowd kissing and holding hands.
Tyler thought of Jenna's smiling eyes and quirky humor, of her grace and kindness, and he missed her while he sang.
Josh could see the happy couples, and it made his stomach churn. What was wrong with him how could he love a married man this much. He noticed two men in the front row, the taller one had his arm thrown around the other, and they were gazing into each others eyes, singing the lyrics, the spotlights dancing on their skin. They kissed, and josh felt a pang of what was never to be.
That night flew by, soon Tyler was ready to sing tear in my heart. His fingers danced across the keys, then he turned his head slightly and josh turned his and together they chanted:

"An- nyông-ha-se-yo!"

From the way Tyler sang josh could tell he was singing of his wife. Of course josh knew that the song had been written for jenna in the first place, Tyler had told him this, and told all The interviewers this too. But josh still liked to close his eyes and imagine that it was josh Tyler was singing about. Josh that was the tear in his heart. that he was in love with josh.
So he closed his eyes just for a moment, and listened to Tyler sing, he never would get tired of that beautiful boys voice surrounding him.
It made his problems dull, like it was erasing all but what really mattered with the music.
Josh had given up on defining  his emotions, so instead he kept them locked away. He could almost picture himself snatching those unwanted feelings out of his mind and stuffing them away into a small metal box hidden away in some dusty corner of himself.
The Rhythm of his drums was everywhere. In the air, in his heart, in the swaying hands that filled the semi darkness of the dim venue. It filled up his whole body, and with everything boxed up there was room for happiness. Sweet and innocent a pure like childhood memory, so soft and light like a ray of sunshine cast through a dusty window. And he felt a smile curl his mouth, he was delirious. Caught up in what he loved. This secret world under the lights shared by him and Tyler.
Trees brought with it the sensation so much happiness, so much love and respect. It rose from the audience, it was almost tangible to josh.

The confetti stuck to the sweat of Tyler's back, and the shouts of joy were all he could hear. They had sung their last note, beat out their last rhythm for the afternoon, all that was left was to go to the airport, oand pick up some roses for Jenna.
On his way off the platform a fan threw a rose at josh. He smirked at josh, it was their inside joke that the whole world was in love with him.
Josh pulled himself up easily onto the stage and walked toward Tyler. With a small sweet smile he handed Tyler the rose. The screaming from the fans was deafening, but it sounded far away and muted, all there was for Tyler was the embarrassing heat in his cheeks, and josh looking at him curiously with those warm puppy eyes with his head tilted to one side. Tyler didn't know what to do so he got down on one knee, and presented josh with the rose. If the crowd had been deafening before it was twice as loud now. Josh's cheeks flushed and he placed his hand over his heart in a exaggerated motion of love.
The moment was sweet, but Tyler didn't really feel anything for josh did he? He was just playing along. Plus, thought Tyler, white roses would be perfect for Jenna.
Josh pulled him close wrapping his arm around Tyler's shoulders. Tyler raised the mic one last time to his mouth.

"We are twenty one pilots and so are you."