Drowning in you

•forty•

Just. A. Dream. That's all josh, just something your over taxed brain slipped into your subconscious.
But If it was just a dream why did it seem so damn real.
Josh knew how Tyler was when his depression choked him.
he didn't show it to people, kept that monster locked up inside until he could cry alone.
Tyler was quiet when things got bad, silently staring into space, or letting his eyes study his worn out vans like they were the most interesting thing he'd seen, all while rubbing his thin fingers up and down his bicep, letting his fingernails scrape slow circles into his skin.
Josh had known about how to tell Tyler's "bad" days for sometime, but he had no idea how bad things could really get. He has assumed Tyler's tears and despair had been the result of shock, but they were really just another level of the pain Tyler was capable of feeling.
Josh's fists balled as he thought of all the things he could have done for Tyler.
Maybe If he'd stayed with Tyler longer, not convinced him to preform, never left him alone.
Maybe if things had gone differently along the way, none of this would have happened.
Josh knew Tyler could be safe if it wasn't for him. If he had rushed to Tyler's aide when he had first felt that tingle of fearful suspicion in the back of his mind. If he could've stopped Tyler's hand from forcing more and more poison past his innocent pink lips.
But the poison of the pills was nothing compared to the poison of his mind. Deep and festering, like a fungus infecting his brain. Josh didn't know its limits, he had barely caught a glimpse in his imaginations eyes when Tyler had spoken of his thoughts.
Josh closed his heavy eyelids and thought and thought of what it was like to be Tyler.
Nothing is scarier than losing trust for your mind. Losing faith in an organ that has helped you survive for your whole life. Josh shuddered when he thought of what that would be like.
Your very mind telling you to give up. Isn't your whole purpose to stay alive after all? To eat food, drink water, find a wife, live as long as you can. Your brain is supposed to insure that you keep on stomping around on earth for as long as possible, but Tyler's gave up. What once was the power house driving Tyler became the worst kind of enemy, the one who waits and listens, biding it's time until it can strike.
Now that all this had happened, josh realized just how much Tyler needed him.
The door flew open and there stood Tyler's mother.
Her fraying blond hair was falling out of her once neat bun in chunks that framed her ashen face.
Crack like wrinkles creased into her skin, stretching from the corners of her eyes and mouth like tree branches.
Her joyful eyes , the ones Tyler had inherited, were drained of color, sucked clean of emotion save for fear and sadness which lurked in their blue depths.
Her thin cracked lips worked soundlessly as she stood in the doorway, her body like a broken down doll.
Her feet dragged her in shuddering painful steps across the floor to the foot of Tyler's bed.
Her face contorted in pain, her eyes scrunched shut in the worst kind of crying, the burning constricting kind  that doesn't  give an ounce of relief.

                           •••••••••••••••••••

IMPORTANT:

The only reason I don't comment on stuff I read is cause I'm to impatient and want to keep reading, but I can tell you right now that there won't be a chapter for a little while, so I think you all can spend thirty seconds commenting.
Not to sound  needy and desperate ( I do though) but these comments are the reason I keep writing, if you want me to stop writing I can do that.

Sorry for the short chapter
Sorry for not updating a lot but I have a life believe it or not.

Love every one  of you sleep deprived stressed out people.
-Samantha <3