Drowning in you

•seventeen•

" hey man, that was fun. I missed this." Tyler sighed as they crossed the sea of shining pavement toward the tour bus. Sigh, man zoned. Really? Josh thought.
" I know, I swear tacos are gods gift to the world!" They laughed, then went into the bus.

Usually after you've eaten food you feel all warm and comfortable. Like everything was right in your world, thought josh, but that was certainly not what he was feeling.
Deep twisting hollowness squirmed in his chest. It felt full, full of unbearably emptiness. What am I thinking, I'm thinking in the weirdest contradicting poems. Josh started to finally understand where Tyler had gotten the inspiration for those lyrics all those years ago.
Josh was sitting on the white ceramic edge of the shower. It dug sharply into his legs, it hurt but in the end what was pain. Some sort of made up shit feeling here to torture us and bring us back to reality. But when reality is torture does pain even apply.
Josh didn't know, didn't know what his thoughts were saying anymore. It was just him and the throbbing in his head and the emptiness in his chest.

Tyler was happy. Marrying Jenna had been one of the best things to happen to him, but with it came responsibilities, and with that came less time with josh. So he was happy that he had gotten to spend the evening sprinting through curtains of rain and stuffing his face with tacos with josh, who meant the world to him. In another world, me and josh could have been soul mates. We could have dated. Tyler shook his head, blush creeping into his cheeks even though he was sitting on his buck alone.

He blushed because with the thought of dating came the thought of kissing josh, and although that was wrong to think about it felt so right. His imagination was running at full tilt, and he knew if he kept going it would go places he wished it wouldn't, so he thought of something else. Jenna.
After much consideration, he decided to get her roses, no matter how cliche because she was the rose in the midst of weeds. Tall, striking, beautiful. Shockingly perfect to the point when every time he saw her he had to stare.

Roses, and what? What else? And a necklace! He checked the time on his phone, and realized he could probably still make it to a jewelry store before it closed for the night. He vaulted over the edge of the bunk, and jogged out through the hallway. The light was on in the bathroom, so he assumed josh was in there.
" hey jish I'm going to the jewelry store, I'm getting a gift for Jenna! You want to come with?" He said, pressing his for head against the door.
" n-o thanks." Said a trembling voice from the other side of the door. This sent a spike of worry through Tyler.
" hey man, you ok in there?" He worried.
" yea-h. Yeah I'm fine I think I might be getting a bit sick that's all." Came the quiet reply.
" oh ok. Well go to bed soon, get some sleep, I'll make you tea in the morning!" Tyler said, all but a minuscule amount of the worry flooding out of him.

Tyler sighed with relief.

Josh sighed. Another tear slipped down his cheek.