Drowning in you

•thirtythree•

Josh didn't know how long he sat there with Tyler. It could have been minutes or hours.
Time was different in that cursed hotel room, dust hung unmoving in sunbeams, the room seemed to be holding it breath.
Tyler was far to still.
Josh wanted to scream. To shake Tyler until he woke up. Wanted to yell " Tyler how could you?" "Tyler you had so much to live for!" And all the other stereotypical things you say to a person who has just tried to kill themselves. Or succeeded.
Josh hadn't cried like this since he was a teenager, or maybe this was worse than his teenage years.
No not maybe, absolutely excruciatingly worse.
He could do nothing but sit there and pray, mumble words into the full silence in the pathetic hope that some god would hear.
Would understand that for him Tyler was all that was left in his life.
All he wanted was him and Tyler and van to sleep in under a sky full of impossible quantities of stars.
Wanted Tyler's demons as much as Tyler himself, because Tyler wouldn't be the same man josh had fallen in love without them.
But now it was too late.
Too fucking late for the sky full of stars and whispered "I love you's" for the brush of lips against cheeks, the love that josh would never be complete without.
And now Tyler was almost gone, his pure white soul stretching its angel wings up toward the clouds, to heaven where josh had known he had always belonged.
Josh pressed his calloused thumb against the pale Silk of Tyler's lips, focusing with all his might. Praying once again, praying for the warm kiss of Tyler's breath on his thumb.

A breath.

Soft heat spread though Josh's hand, lacing it's way to his heart in thin tendrils of feeble hope.
The delicate moment was crushed into a million tiny shards when a loud knock sounded on the door.
Josh started hard. He gently lifted Tyler's head from his lap then sprinted to the door.
In came the paramedics.
Their blue scrubs swishing as they jogged in, their stethoscopes bouncing agonist their chests, so out of place in the quiet horror of the room.
Josh watched as Tyler's broken doll body was heaved up into the arms of strangers and laid on a gurney.
Josh couldn't understand what was happening anymore.
Someone was pushing a needle into The silky smooth skin of Tyler's wrist, Someone else frantically checking his pulse.
They rushed him out of the room, their words blending into Incoherent gibberish.
Josh's eyes were playing tricks with him, everything was so fast, but so painfully slow. The paramedics were moving jerkily, leaving smudged trails of color behind their hurried movements.
He stood, his feet rooted to the ground and watched this all unfold.
"He's a goner-" he heard one of the paramedics whisper to the other.
But the whisper was blown up and carried to josh through some unknown working of his ears, and it echoed painfully in his unstable head.
Tyler wasn't a goner.
Tyler couldn't be a goner.

Hello to you whoever you are. I'm on vacation right now so it's very likely I won't update for about another week.

Thanks so much for voting and commenting and reading, it means the world to me guys!

Thats all for now...
-Samantha <3