Then they shut josh out of the room. Once again the small square of space was shut off from Josh's touch, reserved for medical personnel only.
He sat for a moment in one of the chairs placed in a side hallway next to Tyler's room but he sprung up again no longer able to sit still.
He paced in anticipation.Tyler's alive Tyler's alive Tyler's alive Tyler's alive Tyler's. His mind was running wild.
He paced back and forth back and forth.
He had been terrified Tyler would die without knowing of Josh's love, but now with the possibility of him surviving looming he couldn't help wondering what he would do now.
How could he tell Tyler. They had always just been buddies, friends, close ones at that, but never more than that.
If he told Tyler. If he told him that he had feelings for him. Real jolting zigzagging electric feelings that made his skin burn and his eyes not know quite where to look when they talked.
He knew Tyler's mind would instantly change its perspective on all the times they had shared together. He'd unintentionally analyze all the moments they had shared. Wonder if all those times him and josh had shared a bed meant something more.
If josh had purposefully brushed his fingers across his when reaching for his drumsticks. The fear of being shunned made Josh's eyes burn and water. It wasn't really shunning he feared, because he knew Tyler would never shun him, it was the fear of losing the last of the shrapnel memories remaining after Tyler had finally exploded all alone in the hotel room. He clung so desperately to those last outdated scraps of their old lives before. He feared so much. He feared for so little reason. In that one small moment of infinity, his insecurities suffocated him.
He wanted so badly to be accepted, to be loved, to be cared for. Now he was beginning to realize he didn't really deserve any of that If he couldn't give it to himself
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Hey!
It's been so long since I wrote this story, between hanging with friends and going on trips I've been in and out of wifi and inspiration. Summer has a way of turning your life upside down.
Here's an update though, a small filler, I promise this story is going somewhere.
-Sam <3
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Drowning in you
FanfictionFor the most important years of their lives it had been Tyler and josh, josh and Tyler. They were one of those few anomalies in a sea of common friendships. The two knew each other almost as well as they knew themselves. So when Tyler got married, j...
