Sex addict + Luh

T w e n t y - f o u r

|Ariana|

Sitting back here made me think about how much my life as changed. Just 2 months ago I was sitting here in this very seat surrounded by the same people.

"Welcome back." Nick greets me with his usual smile, making me cringe.

"Whatever." I say rolling my eyes. I look around the room. Some of the regulars were gone and replaced with new faces.

I looked at the seat where Derek use to sit.

Why was I such an idiot. I could've been a happy with Derek. I could've fucked him like 829 times by now.

God I was such a stupid fuck. I kicked my feet kicking my chair.

"I don't have an addiction." I said as Nick looked at me. "Never have and never will, so move on to the next person."

I couldn't believe that I was back where I started, at the group. The group potentially changed my whole life.

I got up. "I'm going to the bathroom." I say interrupting whoever was talking.

I walked back into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I felt tears stream down my cheek as the memory of Derek and I came to my mind.

The first time I had ever fucked him was right here in this bathroom. Sometimes I just wish I could go back to when things weren't complicated, I make things complicated all the effing time.

I didn't accept his offer to be a couple because I was scared that it would turn out to be a huge mistake.

I scared that we would both get hurt in the process because of my fear of commitment.

Never have I ever been a fan of commitment, it just never worked for me. I can't commit to anyone, I'm not even sure if I can commit to myself. The only thing that just fucked with my head is... I know that I'm capable of being in a commitment with Derek. I only have eyes for him every other guy will always be second compared to him. No matter how hard I try I will never find someone as great as Derek.

I can commit to Derek, I'm just scared that he can't. I'm scared that one day I'll go to him and find him with another girl. He has so many fucking hoes and I don't think he'd throw them all away for me.

Especially now. I broke him even more.

I wanna fix it. I wanna fix everything.

I want Derek. I want Derek in every way, sexual relationship every fucking thing.

I just needed to feel him.

I leaned back onto the door and sighed. I'm going to get Derek back.

No matter what it takes.

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Double updateeeeee because you guys are cute.